The Subreality Series
by Nate Grey
Summary: The adventures of an unfortunate Writer and his Muse...er, Muses.
1. A-Muse-ing Experience

Author's Note: My first attempt at the Subreality concept. I know it's not the greatest thing, and I tried to limit the references to my own stories, but...well, try to enjoy it anyway, please? Also, if you're not into the whole anime thing, you might wanna skip this one. I do love a good crossover...  
For those of you that have read the first few "The Anime World" stories, this was created just before #2.  
  
A-Muse-ing Experience -AKA-  
There's Always Someone Higher Up  
  
By XMAN0123 (Nate Grey)  
--------------------------------  
  
It wasn't an unexpected sight, really. Many anime characters had appeared in his dreams before, so the boy didn't give it a second thought when he saw two of his all-time favorites at the foot of his bed. However, when one of them pointed a gun straight at him, he was understandably a little shocked.  
  
"You sure this is him?" Heero asked, looking the boy up and down. "Doesn't look like much of a fanfic writer to me."  
  
"Oh, it's him alright," Trunks confirmed, gripping the handle of his sword. "I'd know that face anywhere."  
  
"So remind me why we haven't killed him yet."  
  
"We have to wait for Nate, Heero. It wouldn't be right if we didn't."  
  
"Um...what's going on here?" the boy asked.  
  
"Quiet, you!" Trunks shouted, thrusting the sword up to his neck. "You've toyed with me for the last time! You hear me?!"  
  
"Hold on, Trunks," a new voice said. "If anyone's gonna off this sad excuse for a fanfic writer, it's gonna be me."  
  
The boy's eyes traveled over to the window, where a tall figure emerged from the darkness. He was wearing his usual AOA outfit, which never really seemed to go out of style. With quick strides, he walked over to the bed and hauled the boy up. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't mind blast you right now, freak."  
  
The boy thought for a moment. "I could hook you up with Jennifer Lopez."  
  
"That's not even funny, kid."  
  
"Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. What's wrong with you guys, anyway?"  
  
"You should know!" Trunks spat. "You've screwed with us so many times, we don't even know who we are anymore!"  
  
"Actually, he's only screwed with me once," Heero suddenly said, lowering his gun. "It wasn't even that bad, really." Then, after a moment of thought, he said, "Wait, did you mean THE Jennifer Lopez? Maybe we should hear him out, guys."  
  
"He made me the son of Vegeta and Washu!" Trunks shrieked. "Do you have any idea what that's like?!"  
  
"That's nothing," Nate muttered. "I've been in love with a dead Threnody, then Jubilee, and mildly infatuated with Sasami from Tenchi Muyo. I won't even mention how he put my mind in her body."  
  
"You hooked HIM up with Sasami?!" Trunks roared. "You traitor! You promised me I'd get to hook up with her next!"  
  
The boy shook his head and wrenched himself from Nate's grip. "Correction: I said maybe. I'm a fanfic writer, guys. Things can change between the drafts and final copies. You all know that."  
  
"This isn't the time to get cocky, kid," Nate reminded him. "We can still kill you."  
  
The boy smirked. "I doubt it. At least the stories that I write with you guys get good praise."  
  
"That means what to us?" Trunks asked.  
  
The boy sighed. "Follow me." He led them over to his messy desktop, where amid a stack of unfinished poems, he discovered a laptop computer. "Now, I want you all to take a look at these figures."  
  
Heero leaned in close. "What's this? 'Fanfiction.net Hits for Nate Grey.' Since when did you become a writer, Nate?"  
  
The boy grinned nervously. "Um...that's the name I use there. Most people just know me as XMAN0123."  
  
Nate frowned. "So you steal my name and then drag me through the mud?"  
  
"Just look at the figures!" the boy snapped.  
  
"Wow. This series I'm in has been doing pretty well," Trunks said softly. "How'd you get them posted so fast?"  
  
"Simple. I worked hard." The boy stifled a yawn. "Can I go back to bed now?"  
  
"Hey, mine's actually been archived at several other webpages," Nate noted. "Cool!"  
  
"There, you see? People like what I do with you guys. You're the only ones that have complaints."  
  
"I don't have any real complaints," Heero admitted. "You've only used me once, anyway. I just want to know why you make me out to be a stiff, cold-hearted jerk."  
  
Nate and Trunks traded looks.  
  
"Um...Heero?" Trunks asked. "You ARE a stiff, cold-hearted jerk."  
  
"That's no excuse for making me fall for a ten year-old!"  
  
"Actually, she's more like ten-thousand," the boy added.  
  
"Sounds like he hooked you up with Sasami, too," Nate muttered.  
  
"No, I'm with Yugi," Heero said. "But she was obsessed with Sasami, so maybe there's a connection."  
  
"Wait! I thought Yugi was mine!" Trunks shouted.  
  
The boy shook his head and sighed. "She was, in 'Kid Stuff.' Heero gets her in an entirely different series, which is called 'The Anime World.' You don't see her up here complaining, do you?"  
  
"Well, no, but I don't like it."  
  
"YOU don't have to like it." The boy got up and went back to his bed. "Now, get out of my room before I have to call my Muses."  
  
"Did you say Muses?" Nate asked. "I thought you were only allowed one?"  
  
"Rules are made to be broken, especially by fanfic writers. Besides, they're not really Muses, or even mine, since most of them belong to Japanese people or Marvel Comics. Now get out before I make you leave."  
  
"Are you threatening US?" Nate asked with an amused look.  
  
The boy sighed again. "Have it your way." He picked up a notepad and started to write. "Last chance, guys. I'm starting a fanfic now."  
  
"You don't scare us," Trunks responded, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Fine." The boy went back to the pad, scribbling down notes like mad.  
  
"Man, he writes pretty fast," Heero said. "Maybe we should leave, guys."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere," Nate insisted. "Not until I get-"  
  
"NATE!"  
  
Nate winced. "Uh oh."  
  
Jubilee marched into the room. "You've got some explaining to do, buster! This guy is TRYING to write another fanfic starring us, and you're nowhere to be found! Now you come here with your buds to bother him?!"  
  
Nate stammered. "Um...w-well...we just-"  
  
"Shut it," Jubilee said, placing a finger against his lips. "We're going home now, and you're not saying another word until I check you for drugs, cuz something is very wrong with your head!" She grabbed his arm and quickly dragged him out of the door.  
  
Trunks began to get nervous. "Um...you wouldn't do that to me, would you?"  
  
"No, I've got something better for you," the boy replied.  
  
"Trunks!" two voices shouted.  
  
"Oh no. You wouldn't dare!" Trunks cried.  
  
Bulma & Washu each grabbed one of his ears.   
  
"If you sneak out one more time, I'm telling your father!" Bulma threatened.  
  
"And you know how cranky he is...well...all the time!" Washu added.  
  
Trunks whimpered as he, too, was dragged away.  
  
The boy finally stopped writing. "Heero, since you didn't really come here to kill me, I'll let you leave under your own power."  
  
"Thanks, I guess," Heero said slowly. "But don't you think it's slightly sick to make me yearn for a girl with a ten year-old body?"  
  
"It could be worse," the boy replied. "You could be yearning for Duo."  
  
Heero shuddered. "I get the message. Sorry I said anything." He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.  
  
The boy sighed and sat down on his bed. "I wonder if all the other writers have to deal with the characters like this."  
  
There was a bright flash of light as Yugi appeared before him. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
"They tried to kill me. Again! That's the third time this month!"  
  
"But they never actually do."  
  
"Yugi, why can't you just zap them or something? You're supposed to be my Muse!"  
  
"No, I'm a Muse on loan from Pioneer, which you'd better remember. Anyway, Muses aren't bodyguards, they inspire you to write. I've been doing that, haven't I?"  
  
The boy sighed. "Well, yeah."  
  
"And you like me, right?"  
  
"Sure, I guess."  
  
Yugi smiled. "So there isn't a problem. Now go write!"  
  
"NOW? It's two in the morning! I've got class at eight tomorrow, and I have get up earlier than that just to get breakfast at the cafe, which usually SUCKS, I might add! The eggs are cold and the bacon tastes like blood, and-"  
  
Yugi simply reached up and cupped his face in her hands. She gently drew his head down and pressed her forehead to his. "Write. Right now. Got it?"  
  
"Got it," the boy muttered, staring into her eyes.  
  
"Good boy." Yugi released him and patted his head. "Now, 'Kid Stuff' is running smoothly, but I want more kissing scenes with Trunks. Oh, and while you got 'The Anime World' off to a nice, funny start, there should be more funny stuff involved. Oh, and I want Heero to take me for a ride in his Gundam, and throw in something special in for me, would you? You know what I like, right?"  
  
"Boys," the boy muttered drunkenly. "Cute boys with big hair."  
  
"That's right! You've been paying attention!" Yugi clapped her hands once. "Now, are you ready?"  
  
The boy blinked and shook his head. "Huh?"  
  
"The laptop. Get to it. Now!"  
  
"Oh. Um...sure!" The boy scrambled over to his computer and opened up Microsoft Word. "Crap! I hate the '95 version. Why can't I afford Office 2000 like everyone else?!"  
  
Yugi giggled. "Looks like my work here is done." She danced over to the boy and kissed his forehead. "I'll be back in the morning to see how you're doing. Bye!" With that, she vanished.  
  
The boy grunted, hardly even realizing that she was no longer there. His every thought was now totally devoted to the story developing before him. His fingers flew across the keypad in a blur, pausing only for a nanosecond to hit the Enter key every now and then. In less than half an hour, he was done.  
  
"Man, that was easy," he said, scratching his head. "I swear this stuff is weird, but I can't even begin to imagine where I got it from. Well, at least Nate & Trunks won't be back anytime soon. Of course, Heero might have a few complaints about this one..."  
  
With a shrug, he saved the file to a disk, dove under the covers, and proceeded to the Dreaming, where the Sandman would be waiting with open arms, and a Whopper with extra cheese, if he was lucky enough.   
  
The boy was so tired, he didn't even bother to glance at his alarm clock. If he had, he might have noticed the small photo of a young girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, and an irresistibly cute smile. More importantly, he might have seen the message scribbled in blue ink across the bottom, which simply read, "Do it for her."  
  
The End.  
------------------------  
Disclaimer: Subreality belongs to the marvelous Kielle. All characters (except for the boy with the questionable mental health) belong to their respective owners (Trunks & Bulma are Akira Toriyama's, Yugi & Washu are Pioneer's, Jubilee & Nate are Marvel's, and Heero belongs to Sunrise), and I only wish I got paid to do this.  
  
I know it was strange, but so are most of my stories. If you have questions, comments, or concerns for my mental state, you can contact me at XMAN0123@aol.com. I may not have a life, but I always check e-mail. If you're confused about the stories, go to Fanfiction.net and search for Nate Grey in the drop-down box. If you're too scared to do any of that, I'll understand, as it's happened many times before...  



	2. Project: Bliss

My second Subreality attempt. This one is stranger than the last, so I guess there should be some kind of warning, but that'd just spoil the fun, anyway...  
  
Project: Bliss  
By XMAN0123 &  
Yugi! :)  
-------------------------------  
  
Heero tried to remember why he'd agreed to the experiment. He seemed to recall a promise of bliss, but even that was fairly distant to him now. The world seemed to swim in and out of focus, swirling and mixing with pools red and black.  
  
"I think you're okay now," a voice said.   
  
Heero slowly opened his eyes, trying to find the voice's owner.  
  
"Heero, can you hear me?" it asked.  
  
He blinked a few times, then saw Duo's face. "What happened?"  
  
"I don't know, but they tell me you were singing right before you passed out."  
  
"Singing?" Heero repeated.  
  
"Yeah. As in 'Come On Over.' I didn't know you were into Christina A., man."  
  
"I'm not." Heero slowly sat up.  
  
"Sure, that's what they all say. Don't fight it, Heero. She IS pretty cute."  
  
"I was not sing-" Heero stopped himself when he realized where they were. "This is Relena's house."  
  
"Yeah, so what?" Duo asked. "We're here for the party."  
  
"Party? I don't remember any-"  
  
The door to the right opened, and Zechs stuck his head in. "Hey, get back in here, you two!" he shouted over the noise of the party behind him. "The wine is flowing, and I can't handle all these women alone!" He took a long sip from the mug he was holding, then passed out onto the floor.  
  
"Like I was saying, bro," Duo went on as he dragged Heero to the door. "You really need to let go. Have some fun. Live a little. Well, a lot, in your case."  
  
As he stepped over Zechs and entered the room, Heero's eyes widened. Whether it was from shock, happiness, or pure lust was up for debate, but they definitely got much bigger.  
  
Everywhere he looked, there were women of loose reputation, and even looser clothing (what little of it they still wore, anyway). Somewhere in the thriving mass of bodies, he spotted Trowa's signature hair. It took Heero a while to recognize it, as Trowa was also unconscious, facedown in a bowl of obviously spiked punch.  
  
Then there was Quatre. He was standing on the small stage to the left. Well, standing was a bad word for it. To be more precise, he was dancing. Well, that wasn't descriptive enough, either. He was dancing...exotically. That was the best phrase Heero could think of, short of stripping (though that's exactly what Quatre was doing). Women surrounded the stage, screaming their heads off and throwing money.  
  
Heero shook his head and tried to tell himself that if was all just a horrible nightmare. That none of this was really happening. That he'd eaten one too many burritos, and this was simply a side effect. All this he might have accomplished, if he hadn't seen Wufei.  
  
The woman-hating warrior was sitting in a chair, nursing a drink with one hand and a Cuban cigar with the other. Well, he was trying to nurse them, but the woman giving him a lap dance kept getting in the way. As his gaze landed on Heero, Wufei dropped his cigar, flashed him a thumb's up and shouted drunkenly "JUSTICE!" before passing out onto some very comfortable pillows.  
  
Heero was suppressing the urge to scream when Duo tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"I've got a surprise for you, bro! Turn around!"  
  
Heero hesitated, then finally turned around. There was a huge cake in front of him, the kind that people usually tended to pop out of. Heero started to back away as the band began to play the ending theme to Gundam Wing.  
  
The top of the cake fell away to reveal a woman dressed in revealing gypsy's outfit.  
  
"Oh, man! Here she comes, bro!" Duo said excitedly, slapping Heero across the back.  
  
The women slowly stepped down from the cake and wrapped an arm around Heero's neck. "Are YOU the birthday boy?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
Heero tried to answer, but his mouth didn't seem to be working properly.  
  
"Dance with me!" she said, dragging him to the stage.  
  
Heero suddenly recognized the woman, and turned her around. "Relena, is that you?!"  
  
Relena giggled and tapped his nose with a finger. "I thought I was gonna have to sing 'Happy Birthday, Mr. Gundam Pilot' before you figured it out."  
  
Before Heero could protest, she shoved him onstage, where he landed next to Quatre, who was down to his boxer shorts by now.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know you were into this, too!" Quatre said, helping him up. "If you know what to shake, you can really get paid!"  
  
Heero started to tell him that he wasn't about to shake anything when there was a loud explosion outside. Before anyone knew what was happening, the Wing Gundam took out the back wall and aimed its beam cannon at the cake. Heero ran over and scrambled into the pilot's seat. Just as he did so, Relena hopped into his lap.  
  
"You weren't thinking of leaving before I gave you a birthday kiss, were you?" she asked.  
  
Heero ignored her and fired the beam cannon, sweeping it across the room. When he was done, the entire house had been reduced to less than ashes.  
  
"Well, that was rude," Relena muttered. "Now where am I supposed to live?"  
  
Heero grunted and turned the Gundam away from the former house, shifting it into jet mode. He was thrown back in his seat as the jet zoomed forward into the night sky.  
  
Relena suddenly grabbed his head. "Now, about that kiss..."  
  
Heero struggled to pull away, but there was hardly any room to move. He could only stare in horror as Relena's lips came closer and closer to his own...  
  
* * * * *  
  
"AAH!" Heero shrieked, shaking his head from side to side. "Make it stop! Please, MOMMY, MAKE IT STOP!"  
  
"Hmmph. I thought Gundam pilots were supposed to be invincible," Washu muttered, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Looks like my Bliss Machine still has some kinks to be worked out, eh, Heero?"  
  
"No more," Heero whimpered, tears falling from his eyes. "No more. Please!"  
  
"Wuss," Washu muttered, turning back to her computer console. "Let's start you off in Lady Une's bedroom this time."  
  
"No! NO! NOOOOOOOOO!" Heero screamed, pulling desperately at his restraints. "Help me! Somebody HELP MEEEE!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi sighed and shook her head. "Well, that's the last time I ever try to write fanfic. This stuff is a lot harder than I thought."  
  
The bathroom door opened, and a boy walked out. It was then that he spotted Yugi in his chair. "Hey! Get away from there!"  
  
Yugi turned pale. "Eeeep!" She jumped out of the chair and ran, but he caught one of her overall straps.  
  
"Okay, Yugi. What did you do?"  
  
"Um...nothing?" she guessed.  
  
He glanced at the computer screen, then shuddered. "Why is Quatre doing that?!"  
  
"Maybe he's a closet stripper?"  
  
"Yugi, I've told you not to mess with my stories! You can inspire them, but this is exactly why you're not allowed to type them!"  
  
"Um...I'm sorry?"  
  
"Yes, you are!" The boy groaned and looked at the computer again. "Heero's gonna murder me in my sleep now..."  
  
Yugi looked worried. "You're not gonna tell my boss about this...are you? I could get in trouble!"  
  
"You ARE in trouble!"  
  
"But if you tell them you're mad at me...they won't let me be a Muse anymore!"  
  
"Muse on loan," the boy reminded her with a sigh.  
  
"You're not mad...are you?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Well, my impending death kinda overshadows being mad right now, so it's hard to say. But I do think you should explain to Heero that YOU wrote this story."  
  
Yugi shuffled her feet nervously. "But you know how pissed he can get. What if he hurts me?"  
  
"For one thing, he's human, and you're not. For another, has anyone ever been able to physically punish you?"  
  
"Well...not exactly..."  
  
"So there's nothing to be afraid of, right?"  
  
"I guess not," she said slowly.  
  
"So go fix this mess you made and save my butt!" Then, taking another look at the screen, he added, "And stop watching those HBO specials! They're for ADULTS!"  
  
Yugi lowered her head. "Okay." She slowly walked out of the room.  
  
The boy sat down at his computer and was about to delete the file when he noticed something. "Hey, I didn't know I was signed onto AOL right now. What's this? 'Your mail has been sent.' I didn't send any...what?! Subreality Mailing List?! YUGI!!!"  
----------------------   
  
Disclaimer: Heero, Duo, Zechs, Relena, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre & Wing Gundam belong to Sunrise; Washu & Yugi belong to Pioneer. Subreality belongs to Kielle.  
  
Yes, I am crazy, and I do have a lot of free time. Contact me at XMAN0123@aol.com, as usual...if you dare... insert sinister, maniacal laughter of your choice here   



	3. Return of the Saturn Scouts!

I am not under the influence of anything...unless Pepsi counts.  
  
Merry Muse Productions Presents...  
Return of the Saturn Scouts!  
By XMAN0123  
------------------------------  
  
"I want to thank you again for doing this at the last minute, Darien," Professor Tomoe said. "I know you probably had plans with Serena tonight."  
  
"Oh, it's no trouble, sir." Darien smiled politely. "I never mind when it comes to baby-sitting your daughter. Isn't that right, Hotaru?"  
  
"Dawien fun!" Hotaru replied, bouncing up and down on his shoulders. "Dawien fun!"  
  
Tomoe smiled and tweaked her nose gently. "You be a good girl for Darien, sweetheart. I'll be back in a few hours."  
  
"Daddy go bye-bye!" Hotaru yelled, waving as her father walked out of the door.  
  
"Well, what would you like to do first, Hotaru?" Darien asked.  
  
"Eat, eat, eat!" she insisted, tugging on his hair.  
  
"Okay, calm down! I'll feed you in a minute." Darien walked into the kitchen and sat Hotaru down in her high chair, then opened the refrigerator. "How do you feel about vanilla pudding?"  
  
"Faiwy!" Hotaru shouted, banging on the table. "Faiwy, faiwy, faiwy!"  
  
Darien glanced back at her. "Hotaru, you can't eat fair...uh oh." He blinked a few times to make sure he hadn't breathed in vapors from some spoiled food. No, there was Hotaru's "fairy," real as ever, sitting on the kitchen table. Except Darien had never seen any fairies that wore overalls one size too big. Well, he'd never seen any fairies period, but since he was Sailor Moon's boyfriend, he wasn't exactly opposed to the idea of their existence, either. Weirder things had happened.  
  
"Rats!" the fairy muttered. "I knew I should've taken a left turn at Tenchi's house."  
  
Darien bit his lip and tried to remain calm. "Um...who are you?"  
  
The fairy looked at him for the first time. "Hey, you're Darien Chiba! Cool! Maybe you can help me with something."  
  
"Dawien, Dawien!" Hotaru yelled, banging on the table again.  
  
The fairy glanced back at her. "Excitable, isn't she?"  
  
"Look, miss fairy person," Darien said. "I don't know why you're here, but I really-"  
  
"I am NOT a fairy," the girl interrupted sharply. "I happen to be a Muse, and a very good one, despite the rumors! Anyway, my name is Yugi, and I'm here to cut you in on the deal of the century!"  
  
Darien was understandably skeptical. "A fairy in merchandising?"  
  
Yugi narrowed her eyes. "Look, pal, you call me a fairy one more time, and I'll turn you into a Sailor Scout! Now, as I was saying, I have here, in my hand, the greatest-"  
  
"There's nothing in your hand, Yugi."  
  
She paused. "Hey, what the heck?!" Yugi looked around desperately, then snatched a stack of papers from Hotaru's sticky hands. "The greatest movie script in history!"  
  
Darien sat down at the table. "Yugi, no offense, but I'm not exactly a movie producer."  
  
"I know, but I need to practice my sales pitch, anyway." Yugi stood up and waved the script over her head. "Merry Muse Productions proudly presents..." She paused to imitate a drum roll. "Return of the Saturn Scouts!!!"  
  
Darien stared at her, a blank look on his face.  
  
"Okay, so the title needs work," she admitted. "But the rest is gold, I tell you! Pure gold!"  
  
"Yugi, is this a sequel?"  
  
"Well...no."  
  
"So why is it called 'Return-"  
  
Yugi stamped her foot. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?!"  
  
Darien sighed heavily. "Go on and get it over with."  
  
"Right!" Yugi smiled brightly. "Okay, you know about the Silver Millennium and everything, so I'll skip the boring details." She flipped through the script until she found the desired page. "Here we go! The Moon Kingdom is being attacked the Negaverse's army. Suddenly, a wave of darkness sweeps over the land!"  
  
"Let me guess. It was you, right?"  
  
Yugi glared at him. "No! I said a wave of darkness, not a wave of happy faces!"  
  
Darien shook his head. "Okay. Wave of darkness, lots of land-sweeping, and then?"  
  
"Then...THEY arrive!" Yugi stopped and looked at him expectantly.  
  
After a few moments of silence, Darien nearly screamed, "WHO?!"  
  
She grinned. "I'm a good suspense builder, right?"  
  
"Just read the script!"  
  
"Okay, fine." Yugi made dramatic sounds. "It's THEM...THE SATURN SCOUTS!!!" She paused again.  
  
"Don't you dare do that suspense thing again."  
  
"I was waiting for a reaction."  
  
Darien rolled his eyes. "Being very scared and utterly stupefied IS a reaction. Who are the Saturn Scouts?"  
  
"I'm glad you asked." Yugi cleared her throat and began again. "First, the leader, the mighty Pretty Soldier of Silence, Sailor Saturn! Otherwise known as Hotaru Tomoe."  
  
"Me, me!" Hotaru yelled happily.  
  
"That's right, chubby cheeks, you!" Yugi agreed, poking her face with a finger.  
  
"And the others?" Darien asked.  
  
"Next is the former space pirate and current maker of mayhem, Ryoko!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Ryoko!"  
  
"WHO?!"  
  
Yugi sighed. "Darien, babe, you are so uninformed. Everyone knows who Ryoko is!"  
  
"I don't, and I'm sure I don't want to know. Continue."  
  
"Okay. The final member of the Saturn Scouts is the unpredictable, unbeatable, and unbelievably handsome Gundam pilot, Duo Maxwell! Also known as the God of Death."  
  
Darien closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "And all this means what?"  
  
"Together, they are the three elements of the planet Saturn: Silence, Chaos, and Death!"  
  
"Whatever happened to the Moon Kingdom?"  
  
Yugi glanced at the script. "Oh. They saved it, basically."  
  
"All by themselves?"  
  
"Okay, so the Deathscythe Heck Gundam helped a LITTLE..."  
  
Darien groaned. "Then what happened?"  
  
"Serenity was SO grateful, she crowned Hotaru the new Moon Princess, and they united the kingdoms of the Moon and Saturn to create the Saturn-Moon Alliance."  
  
"So there is no Sailor Moon in this story?"  
  
Yugi checked the script. "Nope."  
  
"No other Scouts?"  
  
"Zero."  
  
"No Tuxedo Mask?"  
  
"In my opinion, Duo fills the heroic cute guy role quite nicely."  
  
Darien thought for a moment. "That's the end?"  
  
"Of course not! Hotaru falls in love with Duo, and they have the cutest little girl named-"  
  
"Yugi."  
  
"Hey, good guess! Anyway, Yugi inherits the throne, and-"  
  
Darien held up a hand for silence. "Yugi, look. I have to stop you right there. You're in the story!"  
  
"You have a problem with this?"  
  
"You can't pitch a movie script if you're in it."  
  
"I'm a Muse. I can do stuff like that."  
  
"Moose, moose, moose!" Hotaru chanted.  
  
"Just who's Moo-er, Muse are you, anyway?" Darien asked.  
  
"Oh, just some guy's," Yugi replied. "Look, do you like the movie idea or not?"  
  
"It needs work."  
  
She frowned. "You hated it."  
  
"I never said that."  
  
"You wanted to!"  
  
"Yugi, I don't hate it. It's obvious you've put a lot of thought into this, and I think whoever you belong to would be very proud if they realized how...talented you are."  
  
"You mean that?" Yugi asked.  
  
Darien hesitated. "Yes?"  
  
A surprised look passed over Yugi's face, and she slowly pressed a hand to her heart. "You...you really...liked it?" She sniffled quietly. "You like me! You really, really like me!"  
  
Darien groaned and covered his face. "Yugi, I think it's time for you to go back to your owner."  
  
"Okay, I can take a hint. But if I do a rewrite, would you be interested in the role of Masquerade Man?"  
  
"Who...?"  
  
"Masquerade Man. He'll be my love interest," Yugi said dreamily, a big smile on her face.  
  
Darien sighed. "Now it's really time for you to go. Goodbye, Yugi."  
  
Yugi waved and vanished into thin air. "I'll call you! We'll do lunch!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So did they like it?" Ryoko asked.  
  
Yugi hesitated. "Well, Darien did. I think."  
  
"Darien?" Duo asked. "I thought you said you knew a famous producer!"  
  
"I do, but I kinda got lost on the way to his house..."  
  
"Oh, well that's just great!" Ryoko muttered. "And why do we have to keep meeting in the closet like this?!"  
  
"I told you already! If that boy I work for finds out what I've been doing, I could get in trouble!"  
  
"YUGI!"  
  
Yugi froze. "Uh oh. You two stay in here." She quickly slipped out of the closet and ran into the living room. "Yes?" she asked sweetly.  
  
The boy scratched his head. "Have you been meeting with characters without my permission?"  
  
She gasped in shock. "Of course not! I'd never do anything like that! Again, anyway."  
  
"Oh, really?" The boy pulled the curtain aside. "Then how do you explain that?" he asked, pointing.  
  
Yugi stared directly into the face of the Deathscythe Hell Gundam. "I can explain that! Really!"  
  
"I don't even want to know, Yugi." The boy dropped the curtain back into place and headed for the bedroom. "Tell Ryoko they're going to tow her spaceship away in an hour."  
  
"But...but!"  
  
"No more excuses, Yugi. I want them gone by the time I wake up."  
  
"You'll appreciate my talent one day!" she shouted.  
  
His reply was the sound of the bedroom door slamming.  
  
Yugi sighed and looked at her script. "Well, at least I got to practice the pitch. Maybe I can get Heero to make a cameo."  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
Yugi glared at the bedroom door. "Sometimes, I really hate that guy."  
---------------------  
  
Disclaimer: Subreality belongs to Kielle. Prof. Tomoe, Darien, and Hotaru belong to Naoke Takeuchi. Yugi & Ryoko belong to Pioneer. Duo and the Deathscythe Gundam belong to Sunrise.  



	4. Cheating On My Muse

Okay, so I don't exactly own my Muses, I just borrow them... indefinitely. But at least I give credit where it's due.   
  
Cheating On My Muse (And Getting Away with It!): A Writer's Handbook  
by XMAN0123   
--------------------  
  
Trunks bit into his bacon cheeseburger with a loud crunch. "Y'know, you should really take your fictives out to lunch more often."  
  
XMAN0123 sighed and watched the kid polish off the third burger before saying anything. "I need your help, Trunks. It's about Yugi."  
  
Trunks stopped chewing for a moment. "What'd she do this time?"  
  
"Nothing. For once, it's my fault. I...I..."  
  
"What?" Trunks asked, already dreading the answer.  
  
"I cheated on her!" XMAN0123 finally blurted out, a worried look on his face.  
  
"Uh oh." Trunks stared at the Writer. "That was pretty stupid."  
  
"I didn't WANT to do it! It just...happened! One minute, I was dreaming, and the next thing I know, I'm in bed with another Muse!" Trunks's eyes widened, suddenly reminding the Writer of the boy's age. "But maybe I should be discussing this with the older version of you."  
  
Trunks nodded. "Uh huh. You gonna eat your fries?"  
  
So, after a phone call and a quick walk to the Subreality Cafe, XMAN0123 was watching another of his borrowed fictives put away three cheeseburgers. The fact that they were both versions of the same person was hardly interesting anymore, considering the magnitude of his problem.  
  
"From what Young Trunks told me, you've got a big problem," Trunks said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. "So talk to me."  
  
"I cheated on Yugi, and I don't know what to do."  
  
Trunks smirked. "Simple. You die. Possibly in pieces, but in a bloody heap of bones and organs if you're lucky. Sort of."  
  
The Writer rolled his eyes. "I meant how do I SURVIVE this?"  
  
"Oh, that. Well, no one's ever gotten away with it, to my knowledge. But then, I'm just a fictive. Muses are total mysteries to me. I only listen to Writers, and they get their orders from Muses."  
  
"So you can't help me?" XMAN0123 asked with a sigh.  
  
"No, but maybe you'd better tell me the whole story, anyway."  
  
The Writer folded his hands on the table and closed his eyes. "I'd just gotten the first Fandom.com Advance Order Catalog for the new year, and that's when I saw her. I'd dreamed of her many times, but this was the first time that she could actually be mine, and only for twenty bucks, if I sent my order in before January 31st."  
  
Trunks stared at him. "You BOUGHT a Muse out of a catalog?"  
  
"Not exactly..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Hey, boss!" Yugi shouted. "You've got mail!"  
  
The Writer slowly opened his eyes. "Yugi, remember that talk we had about how you wake me up?"   
  
"Yeah. So what?"  
  
"Remember what the number one way NOT to do it was?"  
  
"Um...sitting on your chest and screaming in your face?"  
  
"That's right. What did you just do?"  
  
"But you've got a box!" Yugi said, shoving the package in his face. "Boxes in the mail are always good! They've got cool stuff like gifts and presents! There might even be one for ME!"  
  
XMAN0123 closed his eyes, searching for his last bit of patience. "Yugi, you're a Muse and a fictive. The only mail you get either goes through Subreality or Pioneer. This box is for ME, not you."  
  
"So you gonna open it?" she asked, poking at one of the corners.  
  
"As soon as you leave. Goodbye, Yugi."  
  
Yugi pouted. "I wanna see what it is!"  
  
"Well, I don't want you to. Leave."  
  
Yugi's bottom lip trembled. "I thought we had something special."  
  
"We do. You're my Muse...on loan from Pioneer."  
  
"Then why don't you trust me?!"  
  
The Writer sighed. "I do trust you, Yugi. But there are some things even you can't know about me."  
  
Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Is this one of those XXX-rated gifts that only pervs get in the mail?"  
  
"NO."  
  
"So lemme see!" she whined.  
  
"Fine!" XMAN0123 ripped open the box and poured the contents all over the bed. Amid a flood of green Styrofoam bits, a mop of dark hair was visible.  
  
"What is it?" Yugi asked fearfully, taking a step back.  
  
The Writer fished the doll out of the Styrofoam. "It's my new Death doll. It would've been signed by Neil Gaiman, but that costs extra." He held her up for Yugi's inspection.  
  
Yugi stared at the bushy hair, pale skin, and the shiny ankh sewn into the doll's dress. Then she frowned, flipped her blond hair behind her back, and said, "It's ugly."  
  
XMAN0123 frowned and tucked the doll under his arm. "She is NOT ugly. She's perfectly beautiful...in a Gothic sort of way."  
  
"I don't like her." Yugi poked at the doll's foot. "You're not going to SLEEP with that thing, are you?"  
  
"Why wouldn't--I mean, that's none of your business!"  
  
Yugi stared up at him. "I'm cuter than she is. If anything, you should take me to bed with you."  
  
"That's illegal EVERYWHERE, not to mention the main problem."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I have absolutely no desire to." He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Bye."  
  
Yugi wiped off her forehead. "Don't kiss me while you have that...that thing!"  
  
XMAN0123 grinned. "You're jealous of a DOLL? It's not even alive!"  
  
"I'm not jealous! I just think it's stupid that you're gonna sleep with that...thing!"  
  
"You are jealous. How cute!" The Writer grinned even wider. "My little Yugi's grown into a big girl with emotions, romantic dreams, and a huge crush on me to boot! You might even get pimples!"  
  
Yugi turned bright red. "Stop making fun of me!"  
  
"Okay, I'm sorry." He pulled her into his lap. "Yugi, you know you'll always be the only Muse for me, don't you?"  
  
Yugi refused to look at him. "You don't mean that. You're just saying that so I won't be mad."  
  
"I DO mean it," he insisted, tilting her head upward so he could look into her blue eyes. "Know what else?"  
  
"What?" she asked quietly, a dreamy look on her face.  
  
"I love you," he whispered, kissing her forehead.  
  
"You mean it?"  
  
"Would I lie to you?"  
  
"I guess not." Yugi pressed her head against his chest. "So...if you really love me, could you do me a favor?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get rid of the doll?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Gimme twenty bucks, and you can do whatever you want with her."  
  
"You'd just get another one, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Yup." XMAN0123 smiled. "Yugi, it's no big deal. It's a doll. I just need something to hug when you're not here."  
  
"You can hug me all the time! I could move in with you!" she cried.  
  
"No, you couldn't."  
  
"I'll stay with you all the time, I promise!"  
  
"You can't. You've got responsibilities to Pioneer. You're only on loan, remember? I don't write well enough to buy you from them yet. Maybe if I can get a novel published or something, but until then, you can only do this part-time."  
  
Yugi's eyes brimmed with tears. "But you don't need that stupid thing! You've got me!"  
  
The Writer sighed and stroked her long hair. "Yugi, please don't cry. No one could ever take your place in my heart, especially not a doll. It's like a pillow with an ankh, okay?"  
  
Yugi sniffled. "You promise?" she asked, hugging him tightly.  
  
"I promise, sweetheart," he said, kissing her hair.   
  
* * * * *  
  
"I don't get it," Trunks said. "How's that cheating on Yugi?"  
  
XMAN0123 rolled his eyes. "You didn't let me finish. After she went home, I went back to bed and had this dream..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So it's you again," Dream murmured as XMAN0123 appeared in front of him. "You're one of my regulars here, you know that?"  
  
"Can't help it. A Writer's gotta have dreams."  
  
"True. But not many Writers actually want to spend time with me," he pointed out. "Most just want to meet me so they can say they did."  
  
"It's a trade-off. I've never even seen one of your comics."  
  
Dream nodded. "I suppose. So what would like tonight? Perhaps an action-packed one? Or maybe you're in the mood for something...dare I say...reserved for a mature audience?"  
  
The Writer turned red. "Well, actually, I just had a question."  
  
"Oh. Fire away, then."  
  
"Uh...I know you must get this all the time, but...can I meet your sister?"  
  
Dream arched an eyebrow, either out of curiosity or surprise. "Which?"  
  
"Death. I'm...a fan."  
  
"Aren't we all?" Dream continued to stare at him. "And what might be the nature of this meeting?"  
  
"I was hoping she could sign my d--er, action figure!"  
  
"Really? That's...new."  
  
"It is?" XMAN0123 asked.  
  
"Yes. Most people just want to sleep with her. But most of them end up dying." After a horrified look from the Writer, he quickly added, "In their sleep. I despise perverts."  
  
"Oh. I was gonna say, I know she's prolly good--I mean, the best, but killer? That'd be--" He stopped and looked at the Lord of Dreams. "Oh, man. I am SO sorry. I didn't mean to imply that she might be....uh..."  
  
"It's okay, friend. I know what you meant. I'll see if I can set up a date."  
  
"DATE?!"  
  
Dream looked puzzled. "I meant a day when she could see you."  
  
XMAN0123 sighed in relief.   
  
"She's free...right now," Dream replied a few seconds later. "She's on her way."  
  
"What?!" the Writer cried. "But I'm not ready yet! I don't even know what to say!"  
  
"You're a Writer. You'll think of something. Ah, here she is now."  
  
A portal in the shape of an ankh appeared before them, and Death stepped out, looking more radiant than usual. It was quite obvious that she loved meeting fans, at least, in the Dreaming, anyway.  
  
"My dear sister. Always a pleasure," Dream said as he took her hand.  
  
"Good to see you, too, little brother," she replied, kissing his cheek. Her eyes turned to the Writer. "Is this him?" she asked, not sounding surprised at all.  
  
"Yes. This is...well...that moniker you go by isn't really your name, is it?"  
  
XMAN0123 looked pale. "Uh...no. I guess you can just call me Nate."  
  
"Delighted," Death said, offering her hand.  
  
Nate hesitated, then accepted her hand and impulsively kissed it.  
  
"Oooh!" she cooed, smiling. "I like him already."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"You put the moves on Death?" Trunks asked in disbelief.  
  
"It wasn't a move! I was nervous! I wanted her to like me!"  
  
Trunks just shook his head. "You're a brave man. So then what happened?"  
  
"Well, we talked for a bit, she signed the doll, and we talked some more. Then I woke up."  
  
"So where does the cheating come in?" Trunks wanted to know.  
  
"I'm getting to that," the Writer replied with a sigh. "I woke up around midnight, and that's when it happened..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
After a quick trip to the bathroom, Nate went back to bed, only to find something strange. When he'd gotten up, the Death doll was sitting on his pillow. Now it was in the center of the bed, hogging all the covers. Since it was too late and Nate was too tired to give it much thought, he moved the doll over and slipped beneath the covers. He didn't even notice when the "doll" snuggled up to him and rested its head on his chest.  
  
However, when he woke up the following morning to find it sitting on his chest as Yugi had done so many times, he wanted to scream. Not because it was scary or anything. It was just that dolls didn't usually come to life without some sort of magic.  
  
Nate bit his lip, then formed the word in his mind before speaking. "How?"  
  
"My guess would be this," she replied, holding out her arm.  
  
Nate slowly took her arm. He could even see that it was real skin now, not just some material layered over cotton. He could also see Death's signature printed in bold letters, along with a little happy face that had just been black ink before. Now it was yellow and even happier. Not that it made him feel any better.  
  
"Can I have my arm back now?"  
  
Nate blinked and let her go. "Sorry. Do you have a name? Like Mini-Death or something?"  
  
"No, just Death will be fine. Or D. Or Diana. I always liked that name."  
  
"Great. What are you doing here?"  
  
Death smirked. "I'm your new Muse, silly!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Nate sat up, spilling her onto the bed.   
  
"What's your problem?!" she shouted, getting to her feet. "This is no way to treat your inspiration!"  
  
"But I already have a Muse!" He pointed to the photo of Yugi and himself on his bedside table. "See?"  
  
"So now you have two." Death straightened out her skirt. "Anyway, some ground rules. I don't like to be thrown around like a rag doll. I am very real, so I want to be treated like a real person. For example: the cuddling last night. That was much nicer."  
  
Nate shook his head. "I am SO dead. When Yugi finds out...no, wait. I won't tell her."  
  
"Doesn't work like that. You have a special bond with your Muse. If you get another one, she'll know."  
  
Nate groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. "My life is ruined!"  
  
Death reached over and patted his back. "Tell you what. You go out and prepare yourself for the explosion, and I'll just hang out somewhere. When you're ready for me to meet her, just call, okay?"  
  
"Why would I do that? She'll try to kill you!"  
  
"Nope. She'll try to kill YOU. She'll just be really mad at me."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So you got another Muse?" Trunks tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I didn't know you could do that."  
  
"Well, I didn't either. But now I'm stuck with her." Nate sighed heavily. "Of course, it happens after I tell Yugi she's the only Muse for me."  
  
"Did you try contacting the original Death?" Trunks suggested.  
  
"Yeah. She said that she could sense my...fondness for her, and that D would be a great source of inspiration for my non-anime stories."  
  
"In other words, she wouldn't undo it."  
  
"Basically."  
  
"So...if Yugi's your Anime Humor Muse, what kind of Muse is D?"  
  
Nate shrugged. "That's what I've been trying to figure out. Along with how I'll live to see tomorrow, of course." He glanced at his watch. "Well, Yugi's probably at my place by now. I guess I should go home and face the music."  
  
"You really do seem sorry about this, though," Trunks said.  
  
"I AM sorry. I didn't ask for this to happen. I really do care about Yugi, and now she's gonna hate me. I don't know what I'll do without her."  
  
"No offense, but you sound like you're talking about a girlfriend."  
  
Nate looked at Trunks. "Um...we've got a weird relationship. She walks a line between 'little sister/best friend I can't touch' and 'girl of my dreams'...although that last one belongs to Death now, apparently."  
  
"And you're just gonna go home and face her?"  
  
"I have to, Trunks. I refuse to lie to her. I'll just tell her what I told you and hope she can forgive me."  
  
Trunks nodded. "Well, in case I never work for you again? I think you're a pretty good Writer."  
  
"Thanks, I think. Wish me luck."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The apartment was strangely quiet when Nate got home that night. He peeked into the kitchen and was surprised to find Vegeta and Cell sitting around the table. "Uh...hello?"  
  
Vegeta looked up. "Oh. It's YOU."  
  
"Now, now, Vegeta," Cell said. "We promised we'd give him a chance to explain BEFORE we killed him. Because why?"  
  
Vegeta looked more than annoyed as he muttered, "He can't explain when he's dead."  
  
Cell pulled him aside. "It's better that you don't talk to him. He wants to kill you, and we agreed it would be cruel to do that before Yugi found out why you broke her heart. She's waiting in your bedroom."  
  
"Oh. Thanks for the warning."  
  
Cell nodded. "Anyway, go in there and fix the mess you made. Just remember that if you try to run, I'll trip you up and hold you down while Vegeta burns the flesh from your bones."  
  
The Writer swallowed noisily. "I'll keep that in mind." He slowly walked toward the bedroom. He paused just outside the door, took a deep breath, and went inside.  
  
Yugi was lying on his pillow, curled up in the fetal position. The only reason she probably didn't kill him immediately was the fact that she wasn't facing the doorway. Her best friend, Sasami, was sitting next to her, offering what little comfort she could.  
  
Sasami looked up as he came closer.  
  
"How is she?" Nate asked slowly.  
  
"I just hope you've got a backup plan for inspiration. I don't think she'll be working anytime soon." Sasami patted Yugi's back and lowered her voice. "Good luck," she said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze before leaving the room.  
  
Nate sat down on the bed and started to stroke Yugi's hair, then thought better of it. He decided to start the only way he could. "Yugi, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen."  
  
"You said...I was the only Muse for you," she said quietly. "You lied to me."  
  
"No, I didn't! I never asked for another Muse. Death thought I needed one."  
  
Yugi sniffled a bit. "Maybe you understand why I was jealous...now that your little doll is alive."  
  
"I'm sorry I teased you, but I didn't know how strong your feelings for me were. I'm just realizing how I felt about you, too."  
  
"If you didn't want to work with me anymore, you should have said something."  
  
Nate placed his hand on her shoulder. "It was never about that, Yugi. I love having you as my Muse. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
  
"So why do you need her?"  
  
"I don't know. Death says I do, and I can't really argue with her. She's the equivalent of a god just about everywhere, especially Subreality. I think she did it for a reason, and there's only one way to find out."  
  
Yugi finally rolled over and looked up at him. "You...you're gonna use her?"  
  
"I have to, Yugi. A Writer can't ignore a Muse. It's like trying to go a year without using the bathroom. It's just not natural."  
  
"Love the analogy," she muttered, a smile on her lips.  
  
"So does that mean you forgive me?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"No, that means I'll still be your Muse. I have a right to be pissed at you for at least a year. Make no mistake about it, this is NOT an alliance with D or any kind of acceptance. This is pure competition over who the better Muse is. In short, this means war."  
  
Nate smiled at her. "That's my girl."  
  
"No, that's your Muse, and don't you forget it, buster." Yugi sat up and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "So. Am I cuter than her?"  
  
"I can't really--"  
  
"Wait, that's not fair. I've been crying. Lemme clean up first, then tell me."  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Yugi, I'm not going to be part of this contest of yours. I have two Muses, and I'm not going to treat either one better than the other. You will both receive equal attention from me."  
  
Yugi smirked. "Oh yeah?" She crawled across the bed and stood in Nate's lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "How's this for equal attention? I bet you aren't even thinking about--"  
  
"Me?" D asked as she appeared behind Yugi.  
  
Yugi's face fell. "You called her, didn't you?"  
  
"Yup," Nate answered with a grin.   
  
"So you're the one trying to take my job?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Nope," D replied as she made room in Nate's lap for herself. "I'm the one that has your job."  
  
"That's enough, you two," Nate said firmly. "You're here to inspire me, not fight."  
  
"I bet I can inspire him better," D added.  
  
"You wish," Yugi replied.  
  
"Care to make a wager, then?"   
  
"Fine. The winner gets a kiss."  
  
Nate eyed them with some concern, yet a bit of obvious interest. "You're going to kiss each other?"  
  
"No!" Yugi cried in disgust. "You're going to kiss the winner."  
  
"I'll be sure to wear my black lipstick," D said, eyeing Nate suggestively.  
  
"Hey, back off!" Yugi shouted, shoving her. "The contest hasn't even started yet!"  
  
"That's where you're wrong. I was in bed with him last night."  
  
Nate was already racing out of the room before Yugi could strangle him.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Let me see if I understand this. You have two Muses, both underage, that want to sleep with you?"  
  
"It's more than that," Nate said. "They're both in love with me. At least, they say they are."  
  
"And you give them equal attention?"  
  
"I do my best, but I guess I'm partial to Yugi. She was my first...er, Muse. We haven't...y'know."  
  
"Good. At least you have some morals. What about the other one?"  
  
"D? Well, like the original, she's...very difficult to ignore. Then there's Yugi. She wasn't always that obvious about her feelings for me before, but with D around, she's practically throwing herself at me."  
  
"Do you encourage that?"  
  
"It's hard to say. I can't push her away too much, or she'll think I'm choosing D over her. But if I let her do anything she wants, D will get jealous."  
  
"So you basically have two Muses that are madly in love with you, and you want to choose the one that's best for you."  
  
"Huh? What are you, crazy?! I'm not asking for help, I'm happy! I wouldn't change this for the world! With this much inspiration, in two years, I could become the best fanfic writer there is!"  
  
"So why did you call me, Nate?"  
  
"Oh. I was really just looking for Washu. I'm thinking about getting another Muse."  
  
"You want Washu to be your Muse?"  
  
"No, I want her to make one for me. I figure if it has Yugi's adorable cuteness and D's alarming beauty, it'll be the perfect Muse for me."  
  
"Nate, I'm really worried about you. You're starting to sound more like a pimp than a Writer."  
  
"Hey, this has nothing to do with money! I'm doing this because I deserve the attention!"  
  
"Uh...what?"  
  
"Women have been ignoring me all my life! Being a gentleman never worked, and no matter what I did to please them, it was never enough! Well, now I've got the power, and I won't stop until a have a million mighty Muses, all madly in love with me! BA HA HA HA!!!"  
  
"...Nate, are you okay?"  
  
"Sorry about that. It's great to feel loved after being alone for so long. You understand that, right?"  
  
"Yes, but I think there's a such thing as too much love."  
  
"Fine, I'll only get one more Muse. Eventually. Right now, I'm okay with the two I have."  
  
"Nate, you are still using your Muses for inspiration, aren't you?"  
  
"Oh, sure! I write almost all the time now. Well, except for the daily naps."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I take three naps a day."  
  
"I'm afraid to ask why."  
  
"Okay, then. Talk to you later, Tenchi." Nate turned off his cell phone.  
  
"Who was that?" Yugi murmured, opening her eyes.  
  
"Just an old friend. Go back to sleep."  
  
"She's got more blanket than I do, Nate! Make her share!" D whined.  
  
"Both of you stop it or no one gets to sleep here again."  
  
"We'll be good!" Yugi promised.  
  
"I'll be better!" D agreed.  
  
"Good. Now go to sleep."  
  
"Why does SHE get the left side?"  
  
"I was the first Muse, so I get first pick of sides!"  
  
"But if you were any good in the first place, he wouldn't need me!"  
  
"He doesn't need you! He's just too nice to say you SUCK!"  
  
Nate closed his eyes. "I will kick out the next Muse who speaks."  
  
Silence.  
  
Nate smiled. "Good night, girls."  
  
I can still say goodnight like this, right? I mean, telepathy isn't REALLY speaking, and--  
  
Good NIGHT, Yugi...  
  
--------------------  
  
1. Get advice from trusted fictives who have experience with your Muse.  
2. Always be ready to repeat your story. You may have to tell the tale several times before you find someone that can help.  
3. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get a twisted version of it (especially in Subreality).  
4. Be sure you know your Muse's friends, particularly the ones with destructive powers, as they might be used against you.  
5. Never lie to your Muse. Just tip-toe around the truth until there is no other choice.  
6. Always use terms of endearment when speaking to your angry Muse.  
7. NEVER tell your Muse the details of what you did with another. Use words/phrases like "all a blur," "can't recall," "missed it in a drunken haze," and, "Hey, don't blame me; it's Subreality! ANYTHING can happen!"  
8. Try to treat all your Muses equally. Ex. If one of them drags you into a hot tub, you better have a big one.  
9. Muses will almost always fight. Empty threats usually squash these conflicts.  
10. Once you know the rules, share them. You're not only one with Muse trouble.  
  
--------------------  
  
Disclaimer: Yugi, Sasami, and Tenchi belong to Pioneer, Death & Dream belong to Vertigo Comics, Trunks (both), Cell, and Vegeta belong to Akira Toriyama, and Subreality belongs to Kielle, but you knew that already.  



	5. My Own Worst Enemy

A story from D's point of view, exploring her feelings about her life, Writer, and rival Muse, Yugi.  
  
  
My Own Worst Enemy   
by XMAN0123  
  
---------------------------  
  
I think I have a great life, and a pretty good job to match. All I have to do is inspire every now and then, and what do I get in return? Just about everything I want, really. A nice house (okay, apartment, but still roomy) to live in, a Writer who's almost always happy to see me, and an endless supply of frozen burritos. Okay, that sounded weird, but a Muse has to have some kind of fuel to run on. I have my burritos, and SHE has her strawberries.  
  
Anyway, most Muses I know of live in Subreality, and maybe that's okay for them. Me, I prefer my Writer's apartment. He even gave me my own room, though I don't know why. I only stay there so I can be close to him and keep him warm on the cold nights. Okay, ALL the nights. And it would be a perfect world if it wasn't for HER.  
  
Every morning, I wake up in my Writer's arms, thinking that all my dreams have come true. Then that annoying head of blond hair pops up on the other side of him, and I'm reminded that I have to share him with HER. Just because she's his Muse, too, she gets to stay with us.  
  
The way Nate (my Writer) explained it to me, "Yugi is just as important to me as you are, D, so I wish you two would try and get along." Well, I did try a few times. But she just glared at me and refused to speak. Nate says that Yugi's jealous of me because she was his first, and for a long time, only Muse.   
  
I think I understand how she feels, a little. We both have this unexplainable need to be around Nate pretty much all the time. It's not quite romance, since Nate sees us as little girls that just happen to live with him. Then again, he loves being inspired, so it's not unusual for him to reward us with hugs, forehead and/or cheek kisses, and if we're really lucky, a night of nonstop Sega Dreamcast wars. Nate only lets us play with it when we've been really good, since we have a bad habit of getting really competitive. Yugi nearly blew up one of his games (I happened to be winning at the time), and ever since then, we have to be under Nate's supervision while playing.  
  
Anyway, Yugi and I don't get along so well. If we're not fighting over Nate, it's who the best Muse is, who he needs more, or who's cuter. Okay, so she's got a slight advantage thanks to those baggy overalls, but I swear she never washes them. I've never seen her do it, at least.  
  
Naturally, even I need a break from all that insulting and arguing. That's usually when I go to see Mom. You'd know her as Death, but I prefer Mom. I think she does, too. Mom seems to understand me perfectly, but maybe that's because she made me. She alone knows how much I hate Yugi, but she never encourages it. In fact, she's always telling me that the only way to be a great Muse is to accept that Nate & Yugi are a package deal. If I want to remain his Muse, I have to learn how to work with Yugi, eventually. I'm just glad she didn't give me a time limit.  
  
The only other person I can really talk to is Sandman or Dream, Mom's younger brother. I guess he's my uncle, so I call him Unkie Dreamboat. He HATES that, but he can never stay made at me for more than five seconds. It's a gift, I suppose. He says that whenever I get tired of the real world, there's always a place for me in the Dreaming. I'm almost there as much as Nate is, maybe more. I'm curious as to what he dreams about, but Unkie says that he won't break a loyal Writer's trust in him, even for his favorite niece. I've tried pointing out that I'm his only niece, but it never works.  
  
My dreams consist of the usual three fantasies: Nate falling madly in love with me, Yugi dying in some quick but VERY painful way, and me winning a lifetime supply of frozen burritos. I'm not a hard Muse to please. I never even knew that what I wished for so often might one day come true.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I dropped by Nate's apartment late one night, planning to surprise him in bed. But to my surprise, he wasn't home, and neither was Yugi, which was even more startling. Yugi usually stayed behind in case I did show up, so she could stop me from going through Nate's more personal items. I can't help myself, the guy practically smells like one of my burritos, which sounds weird, but it's magic to me.  
  
I waited for a while, then decided to heat up a burrito or two. I'd just polished off the first one when I found a note taped to the microwave.   
  
"Gone to Subreality. Talk to your Mom for the details."  
  
Nate's messages usually had a much more friendly tone to them, which told me instantly that something was really wrong. The fact that he hadn't been very precise told me that it had something to do with my least favorite subject: Yugi. Still, I was curious, as Nate didn't visit Subreality that often; most of his characters came to see him whether they were invited or not.  
  
Mom wasn't at home, so I went to the Dreaming next. As usual, Unkie Dreamboat was able to help, though I almost wished he hadn't. He said that Nate was sick, and that it was serious. He told me to go find Deadpool, some friend of Mom's, who would take me to Nate, if I asked him nicely.  
  
He didn't mention that Deadpool was a total pervert, or that I'd have to pull him out of a bar fight first. But the jerk did come through, and I was soon running down a sickly white hall, hoping that my Writer was okay.  
  
I rounded the corner only to slam into a leg the size of a tree trunk. I realized that it belong to Cell, one of Nate's fictives. With him were Vegeta and Garlic Jr. But I soon realized it wasn't just them. There was a long line of anime villains and heroes, stretching farther than I could see. It suddenly dawned on me that they were all here for the same reason. The same reason that I was here. They were worried about Nate, even if he hadn't created them. He was a Writer, and that was all that mattered.  
  
It didn't take me long to find Nate's room. There was a Sentinel standing guard outside, and Nate's online name, XMAN0123, was printed on the door. Once he recognized me as a Muse, he allowed me to enter.  
  
Nate looked nowhere half as bad as I expected. In fact, he seemed perfectly fine, save for the fact that he couldn't seem to stop crying. I pulled aside the first doctor I found. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"We're still not sure. He won't tell us anything, but we think he was in some kind of accident. There was a Muse with him when the DBZ guys brought them in, but she's in much worse shape. We had to take her to Emergency."  
  
I knew without a doubt that he meant Yugi. Not that it helped much. I still didn't know what happened, but I planned to find out.  
  
I walked over to Nate's bed and climbed up. He stopped crying long enough to recognize me, but once he did, he nearly smothered me in a desperate hug and started crying all over again.  
  
"Nate, what is it?" I finally asked, stroking his head.  
  
He sniffled and opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He tried again, this time making a sobbing sound. Finally, he swallowed and whispered hoarsely, "It's all my fault, D. I should've done something."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He took a deep breath. "I knew I hadn't written any anime stories in a while. I thought if I came to Subreality with Yugi, I'd get some inspiration. But when we made the trip, something happened and I blacked out. When I came to, I was here, and they won't let me see her."  
  
A felt a tinge of jealousy, but it faded when I saw the pained look in his eyes. Forcing myself not to grimace, I slowly said the dreaded words. "I could check on her for you."  
  
To my surprise, Nate shook his head. "No, D. I don't want you to see her like this."  
  
"Like what?" I asked.  
  
Nate turned away from me. "I have Writer's Block, D. I don't know how I got it, but I just have it. Yugi...it did something to her, and Cell's telling me she won't wake up. It might be contagious, and I don't want you going near her."  
  
"But I thought you had it?"  
  
Nate blinked. "I do, but from what the doctors told me, you could get it next, just because you're my Muse. The risk goes up if you're near Yugi, since she's already infected. Writer's Block doesn't harm Writers, it just shuts them down at the source. I've gotten it before, but that was before I had a Muse. I never knew it could do this..."  
  
I could see that Nate was really worried about Yugi, and me, as well. But I could also see that not knowing her condition was driving him crazy. He was no good to either of us if he couldn't think straight. From what he was telling me, there might not be two of us for much longer. So I did the only thing I could do.   
  
I leaped off the bed and ran out of the room, heading for the Emergency sector. As I passed the various characters in the hall, I knew instantly that they weren't here for Nate. They were all friends of Yugi's, but they hadn't been allowed into Emergency. Being close to her Writer was as close as they could get to Yugi now.  
  
I only had to get by three guards to enter the Emergency sector. Luckily, I had borrowed some of Unkie's magic powder (okay, I took it when he wasn't looking), so they were asleep within seconds.   
  
When I finally found Yugi, I really wished I hadn't. She was wearing one of those light blue hospital robes, but that's not what made her so frightening. Her skin was nearly as pale as mine, and she looked very thin. There were two tiny tubes stuck up her nose, supposedly helping her breathe. I guess what really got me was her eyes. I'd gotten use to that blue fire in her eyes when we'd fight, and I almost enjoyed it, knowing that I had a rival that would always be a worthy opponent. But now her eyes were glassy and gray, like she was really old all of a sudden. I knew then that Yugi was dying.  
  
I'm not sure why, but I felt a need to touch her. I hesitantly placed my hand on her forehead, which was cold and damp. I whispered her name until the eyes blinked and turned to me.  
  
"You win," she said, a smile on her face. "You get Nate all to yourself."  
  
I shook my head. "I didn't want to win like this."  
  
Yugi closed her eyes. "Doesn't matter. They told me that you'll get what I've got. I figure you've got three more months with Nate. Better make the best of them. You can still get some good stories out before it's your turn."  
  
The words flew out of my mouth before I realized I had said them. "I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?" she asked.  
  
"Fighting and...everything."  
  
"Don't be. I'm not." Yugi slowly opened her eyes. "Just between us, you're not so bad, D. Kinda like a sister I never wanted."  
  
"Yeah, I hate you, too," I replied, though my heart wasn't in it.  
  
"I know. But I'm glad Nate has you. He'll need someone when I'm gone." She slowly reached up and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer. "You better take good care of him, or I'll come back and haunt you."  
  
"I will, Yugi," I promised.   
  
Her eyes seemed to lose some of the little light they had left. "Good." She didn't let go of me, though. "One more thing."  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I know we never got along or anything, but I just wanna say...it's been fun, these past couple of months. I think I'm a better Muse because of you. I've never worked as hard to prove I was the best at what I do. That's what Nate says, anyway." She paused and let go of my arm, then gripped my hand in her own. "So. Thanks."  
  
For a long time, I could only stare at that frail, little hand that had once been strong enough to beat me in thumb wrestling. Only once, though. Now I doubted if it could open a milk carton. And for the first time in my life, I found it impossible to hate Yugi. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say I almost...liked her?  
  
"Hey, you're not crying, are you?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
I quickly wiped away the evidence. "No. Allergies. But...you're welcome."  
  
"Okay. Thought you were getting soft on me." She let go of my hand and sighed. "Go back to Nate. He needs you."  
  
A thought came to me. If I walked out of the room, it might be the last time I ever saw Yugi. No more name-calling, no more thumb wrestling, no more Dreamcast wars, and no more fights. In short, no more fun. Sure, Nate was a great guy, but Yugi was the one that made being a Muse fun. Without her, it would never be the same, and neither would Nate.  
  
"You going or what?" she asked.  
  
"No," I answered. "I'm staying with you. For a while, anyway."  
  
"Suit yourself." Yugi closed her eyes again. "If you tell anyone else what I said, I'll deny it all."  
  
"I know." An idea suddenly came to me. I reached up and fingered the golden ankh around my neck, staring at it for a moment. "Here. Take this."  
  
Yugi seemed surprised as I took it off and held it out to her. "I can't take that. It's yours," she said.  
  
"I want you to have it," I insisted, pressing it into her hand. She tried to argue, but I closed her fingers around it and squeezed her hand gently. "For your health," I said, smiling at her.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered, staring up at me. Then her eyes widened. "Your arm!"  
  
As expected, my right arm was going soft, returning to its original cotton state. "It's okay. I'll be fine."  
  
"But...why'd you do this?" Yugi asked.  
  
"I had to," was all I could think to say before my lips sealed together. Then the darkness came.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The darkness faded, and I was alive again. But I wasn't in the hospital. I was in Nate's apartment. More specifically, I was in Yugi's room, trying to figure out how I'd gotten here. Then I saw Yugi.  
  
She was back to normal, wearing a pair of red overalls and socks. And she was smiling at me for a change.  
  
A scary thought occurred to me. "Is my hair messed up?"  
  
"No more than usual," she replied.  
  
"Then why are you smiling?"  
  
"Because I can." She came closer and touched my cheek. "I guess it worked."  
  
"What worked?"  
  
"The ankh. I was afraid it wouldn't bring you back, but it did."  
  
I stared at her. "You...missed me?"  
  
"Not at first," she said quickly. "Nate did. But you should've told me that you needed that thing to live."  
  
"What, so you could take it?"  
  
"Okay, good point. But I won't do that ever." Yugi smiled again. "Thanks for giving it to me. How'd you know it would make me better?"  
  
"Just a hunch. It's the source of my power, so I figured what's good for one Muse is good for another." I would've said more, but my stomach growled loudly.  
  
"I guess dolls don't get to eat," Yugi said. "Nate bought a big case of burritos yesterday. C'mon, I'll show you where he hid them."  
  
I followed her into the kitchen, but I felt strange. Yugi was actually being nice to me. It was weird, but it felt right.  
  
"You want medium or hot?" she asked.  
  
"Doesn't matter," I replied, watching her reach to the back of the freezer.  
  
Yugi pulled out two burritos the size of her hand and put them in the microwave. "How long do you nuke these for?"  
  
"Three minutes on medium," I said, still watching her.  
  
Yugi hit a few buttons, and the microwave gave a loud beep as it began to cook. She turned back to me. "Y'know, you're kinda quiet. What's the deal?"  
  
"I have to do something. Just don't blast me or anything, okay?"  
  
Yugi gave me a curious look. "Okay."  
  
I stepped towards her, took a deep breath, and then gave her a big hug. It was nice, and she didn't even scream or anything like that. Instead, she actually hugged me back.  
  
"Hey, D?" she asked after a while.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Does this mean I can't hate you anymore?"  
  
"I think so, yes."  
  
"So we're going to be pals?"  
  
"Yes," I confirmed.  
  
"Okay. So can I have one of those burritos?"  
  
"Sure. But we're eating strawberries for dessert."  
  
"Deal," she agreed. "Can we let go now?"  
  
"I think it's been long enough." We released each other just as the microwave's timer went off.  
  
"So where's Nate?" I asked as we started to eat.  
  
Yugi bit into her burrito. "He said he was going to visit your Mom."  
  
"Did he say why?"  
  
"Something about needing to be inspired."  
  
"So...why didn't he just come to me?"  
  
Yugi stopped eating. "Okay, okay. To be honest, I wasn't supposed to bring you back without Nate being here. But he was taking too long, and...I missed you."  
  
I smiled at her. "I missed you, too. So how long have I been...gone?"  
  
"About two weeks. Nate wanted to wait until he was sure I was better, but I feel fine now. Anyway, he hasn't been writing much, and I think it's time we forced him to pump out a story."  
  
"He's probably just worried about you, Yugi. You DID almost die."  
  
She snorted. "That was then, and this is later. We're Muses, and we can't let our Writer get lazy. I'm not ending up in some hospital again, and neither are you!"  
  
"Okay. We can start after we eat."  
  
Yugi smiled confidently. "No need. I've already got an idea for a story."  
  
"Really? About who?" I asked.  
  
"Us!" she replied.  
  
"You wanna add anything else to that?"  
  
"Nope. We're much more interesting than some overused fictives. Besides, the readers should know what we've been through. And it'll keep Nate busy for one night, at least. We can play Marvel vs. Capcom 2 while he's working."  
  
"No way! I wanna play now!"  
  
Yugi tilted her head slightly. "We could get in trouble."  
  
"So? Nate can't be mad at me; I gave up my life for yours. I'm a hero around here for at least a year."  
  
"But he'll be mad at me for letting you do it."  
  
"Say I bribed you with a burrito."  
  
Yugi considered that. "True enough. But then he'll get really frustrated, and his face will get big and red." Then she smiled. "I can hardly wait!"  
  
"You get the game ready, and I'll get the strawberries!"  
  
Yugi nodded and ran into Nate's room, while I gathered the fruit. I was filled with a sense of wonder shortly afterwards. It was just like Mom had said. I couldn't really be Nate's Muse unless I accepted that Yugi was, too.  
  
Nate couldn't believe that Yugi and I were friends now. He kept thinking that we were playing a joke on him, and that when he woke up in the morning, the apartment would be in ruins from our fight. Of course, there were no ruins. Unless, of course, you counted the strawberry tops all over Nate's room. And the burrito bags we left on the kitchen table. And that whipped cream stain that won't come out of the rug.  
  
But no ruins.  
  
-------------------  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners. Subreality is owned by Kielle. 


	6. Big Birthday Burrito

Yugi drags D to the Writer's Cafe for her birthday, and that's where the fun stuff starts...  
This gets weird and somewhat disgusting at the end. If you're a fan of bathroom humor, go right ahead. Otherwise...well, no one's forcing you to read it, and I am warning you.  
  
Big Birthday Burrito  
By XMAN0123  
------------  
  
"Yugi, NO! I don't wanna go! This is stupid!"  
  
"It is NOT stupid," Yugi replied, tightening her grip on D's hand. "Anyway, you'll have fun. Nate said so."  
  
"Then why isn't HE here?" she demanded.  
  
"He's going to meet us there. Will you stop trying to escape already?"  
  
D finally gave up two minutes later and allowed Yugi to drag her up the sidewalk, until they reached the neon sign, which proudly proclaimed, "The Writer's Cafe!" Underneath that, in slightly smaller letters, were the words, "Muses Welcome!"  
  
"See? We're welcome!" Yugi stated proudly.  
  
"I still wanna go home," D muttered.   
  
"Stop complaining. We haven't even gone inside yet."  
  
"If we leave now, I might forgive you before my next birthday."  
  
Yugi rolled her eyes. "We're going in, D. Now shut up and look cute."  
  
D groaned and gave her a pleading look. "What'd I ever do...to...you?" She stopped whining when she spotted the wooden boy just outside the door. He was staring intently at a clipboard in his left hand, going over some kind of list with a highlighter. "Yugi...tell me that's not a living wooden boy."  
  
Yugi followed her friend's gaze. "Nope. That's THE original living wooden boy! C'mon, let's go meet him!"  
  
Before D could protest, Yugi was already dragging her to the door.  
  
The wooden boy looked up as they approached. There was a Cuban cigar stuck between his lips. "Name?" he asked in a surprisingly deep voice.  
  
By then, D had had enough. "This just got too weird. Yugi, let's GO."  
  
Yugi ignored her friend. "We're with XMAN0123. Or maybe it's Nate on there."  
  
The wooden boy checked the list. "Yup. Three members of yer party are already inside." He pushed open the door with a large foot that resembled a clog. "Follow the bouncing blue boy."  
  
"Who?" D asked.  
  
The wooden boy jerked a thumb upwards, and his cigar twitched noticeably as he grinned. "Him."  
  
Both Muses looked upward to see a large mass of blue fur and finely cut tuxedo hanging just above the doorframe. The mass suddenly dropped to the floor, revealing that it was actually an agile, six-foot tall mutant covered in blue fur.  
  
D suddenly had no problem gripping Yugi's hand. "What IS that thing?!" she hissed.  
  
"Allow me to introduce myself," the mutant replied, taking a bow. "I am The Beast, or Hank, if you would prefer. I'll be your waiter this enchanted evening."  
  
Yugi grinned. "I like him."  
  
"Well, I don't!" D fell silent as Hank's gaze landed on her.  
  
"Is the lady offended by my appearance?" he asked.  
  
"She's just being difficult cuz it's her special day," Yugi whispered in his ear. Aloud, she said, "Take us to the guy that looks like he just woke up, please."  
  
Hank smiled. "I do believe there is one gentleman present that fits that description." He squatted and held out his arms. "All aboard the Blue Beast Express!"  
  
"C'mon, D!" Yugi climbed onto Hank's back.  
  
D looked as if Yugi had just eaten a bug. "I am not riding him."  
  
"Fair enough," Hank said. "If not first class, would you care to fly coach?" Before D could argue, he scooped her up and leaped into the air.  
  
"WHEEEEE!" Yugi cried. "Isn't this great, D?!"  
  
"I'M GONNA HURL!" D screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
Hank stopped beside a table. "My apologies if the ride was too short. Would the ladies care for a cold drink?"  
  
"Two Shirley Temples, please," Yugi said as she dropped to the floor. "Heavy on the cherries!"  
  
Hank nodded and bounded away.  
  
"You expect me to eat after this?" D asked weakly, clutching her stomach.  
  
"There's my two favorite girls," said a voice behind them. "Who's got a hug for their Writer?"  
  
"I do, I do!" Yugi sang. She flew into Nate's arms, giving him a peck on the cheek. "D was being difficult, but I made sure she got here," she added with a serious look.  
  
D grabbed Nate's arm. "If we leave now, I'll overlook the fact that you didn't get me anything."  
  
Nate leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Of course I got you something, D. That's part of why we're here. We've all got presents for you."   
  
"That's right, and you have to open mine first!" said another voice.  
  
D smiled faintly. "Hi, Mom."  
  
Death kneeled and hugged the Muse. "Hi, sweetie. Are you having a good birthday?"  
  
"That depends on what you got me."  
  
"What we got you," Dream corrected. "It was a joint present."  
  
"That means it costs a lot, right?" D asked hopefully.  
  
Death & Dream glanced at each other. "It's the thought that counts," they both answered.  
  
D sighed. "Just great. I'm never getting older again!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Hank knocked on the kitchen door and stuck his head in. "How's that special order coming along, Makoto?"  
  
Makoto Kino glanced up from her latest masterpiece. "A question, Blue. Have you EVER seen anything this big?"  
  
His eyes widened slightly. "I must admit that I have not. Nothing edible, anyway."  
  
"Oh, it's edible, all right. And if I still have my touch, it'll be delicious, too. But there is a slight problem."  
  
Hank pretended to look shocked. "Gracious! A culinary caper the likes of which the talented and beautiful Makoto Kino can't handle? Has the world gone mad?!"  
  
She smirked. "Very funny, Blue. I just need more sauce."  
  
"Not a problem! I happen to know that we ordered plenty in advance. Did you check the large shipping crate?"  
  
Makoto gave him a curious look. "What large shipping crate?"  
  
At that moment, Pinocchio walked in, carrying a huge crate and looking very annoyed. "I dunno how many times I gotta say this, Hank, but I am NOT a delivery boy! I'm the freakin' bouncer!" He threw down the crate and stormed out of the kitchen.  
  
"That crate," Hank replied quietly.  
  
Makoto nodded. "I see."  
  
* * * * *  
  
D frowned at her Writer. "Explain to me again why I can't have a menu?"  
  
"We've already ordered for you, sweetheart," Nate said for the third time. "They're cooking something special just for you."  
  
"Fine, but do you all have to eat the appetizers in front of me?"  
  
Yugi, Death, Dream, and Nate all froze, mozzarella cheese sticks only inches away from each of their mouths.  
  
D shook her head and sighed. "Never mind. Just turn down the volume on the chewing."  
  
Yugi chose that moment to bite into an extra crunchy cheese stick. "Sorry!" she apologized, looking very sheepish.  
  
"Forget it. Just call me when the food gets here." D hopped out of her chair and wandered away from the table. She hadn't gotten far when Hank appeared.  
  
"Going somewhere, miss?" he asked.  
  
"I just need some air...Hank, was it?"  
  
"I'm touched that you remember!" Hank rewarded her with another Shirley Temple. "I added more cherries."  
  
D smiled weakly. "Gee, thanks." She quickly ran out the front door and leaned against the wall. "This is just not my night."  
  
There was an explosion not too far away, followed by a series of grunts. Then another explosion, and a grunt that definitely meant the fight was over.  
  
Soon, the wooden boy from before appeared, though his clothes were a bit muddy. He was mumbling something about "freakin' high and mighty Saiyans" when he nearly walked right into D, since he was trying to light a cigar at the same time. He eyed her curiously for a moment, then told her quite plainly, "Yer in my leanin' spot, doll."  
  
D considered arguing with him, then decided it wasn't worth the effort and shifted to the left.  
  
He finally lit the cigar and stuck it in his mouth, leaning against the wall. "So. Couldn't take it anymore, huh?"  
  
"You mean the fact that they wouldn't let me eat or that my first birthday is becoming the worst ever?"  
  
The wooden boy arched an eyebrow. "Actually, I meant the blue guy."  
  
D stared at him for a moment. "That was pretty weird. But then, I'm talking to a wooden boy."  
  
"Hey, don't start nothin' you can't finish," he warned. "I just got through trashin' a DBZ punk that tried to get in, and I got no problem takin' down a girl."  
  
"Okay, calm down!" D took a sip from her drink. "Excitable little guy, aren't you?"  
  
The wooden boy snorted. "I'm taller than you."  
  
"Barely."  
  
"Fair enough." He took a few puffs on the cigar. "The name's Pinocchio."  
  
"I'm not THAT clueless," D shot back.  
  
"Well, whoop-de-freakin'-do, kid. They don't pay me enough to examine IQ levels. I just keep out the fictives. Beyond that might as well be rocket science." He inhaled deeply and blew out a fairly impressive smoke ring.  
  
"Aren't you afraid you'll...catch on fire or something?"  
  
Pinocchio stared at her in silence for a moment. "Ever heard of livin' dangerously?"  
  
D sighed and closed her eyes. "Forget I asked."  
  
"Y'know, doll, if it wasn't for that uppity attitude, you'd be kinda cute."  
  
D's eyes slowly opened. "Did you just hit on me?"  
  
Pinocchio tapped some ashes from his cigar and stuck it back in his mouth. "Take it how ya want to, kid. I got work to do here." He turned and strolled lazily up the sidewalk, pausing to tap more ashes into a trash can. Then he grabbed the can, turned it upside down, and proceeded to beat it into next week.  
  
Soon, three people rolled out of the trash can. D recognized them as some of Nate's borrowed DBZ fictives: Krillin, Tien, and Yamcha.  
  
Pinocchio hauled them up and tossed them into the street. "Boys, we go through this every week. Ya can't come in! Are we clear?"  
  
"That's not fair!" Yamcha shouted. "The last time we came with a Writer, you let us in!"  
  
"That was a special case. Did you forget what happened the last time I let you in?"  
  
"Not really," Krillin replied.  
  
"Maybe that's cuz ya were all drunks as skunks with the mumps!" Pinocchio shouted. "Ya wrecked the bar, beat up a Writer, and tried to kill the cook!"  
  
"Hey, that girl had it coming!" Tien shouted. "She said her final episodes would make it to the US before ours did!"  
  
Pinocchio blew a smoke ring in his face. "And for some reason, I can't seem to care, Three Eyes. Get lost before ya gotta talk to Mr. Oak and Woody!"  
  
The three warriors turned and quickly ran up the street, possibly headed towards the Subreality Café, though they'd probably be thrown out of there, too.  
  
"Mr. Oak and Woody?" D asked. "Who are they?"  
  
Pinocchio held up his right hand. "This here's Mr. Oak." Then he held up the left. "This here's Woody."  
  
"Okay. So why's that one called Mister?"  
  
"Cuz when he hits ya, that's what you'll call him."  
  
D stared at him. "Uh...I think I hear my Writer calling me." She took a step back. Then another. Then she turned and ran back into the Writer's Café.  
  
Pinocchio chuckled to himself. "That one always gets the stares."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Makoto wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Well, it's finally done. Now, how are we going to carry this thing?"  
  
Hank considered the situation. "I suppose the combined strength of myself, our beloved Bouncer, and yourself would suffice."  
  
"And if it doesn't?"  
  
"We could always attach wheels and roll it out."  
  
Makoto shook her head. "Let's just go with Plan A. You get the forklift, and I'll get Pinocchio."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Yugi tapped her Writer on the shoulder. "I don't think D's having fun, Nate."  
  
Nate looked at his second Muse, who was trying unsuccessfully to stab herself with a fork. She didn't seem to notice that her ankh kept getting in the way.  
  
"I think you're right, Yugi. Maybe we'd better give her the presents now."  
  
"Yay!" Yugi squealed. "Can I go first?"  
  
Nate patted her head fondly. "Sure, honey. As long as whatever it is doesn't explode or bring bodily harm to anyone. They frown on that sort of thing here."  
  
Yugi pulled out a gift in green wrapping paper. She cleared her throat loudly to get everyone's attention, then placed it in front of D. "Since we're both Muses, you have to open mine first."  
  
D stared at the gift for a long moment, then finally put down the fork and tore off the wrapping paper. She found a strange box that looked and smelled, among other things, extremely ancient. "What is it?"  
  
Yugi only grinned. "Open it!"  
  
D started to do so, then thought better of it. She picked up the fork and used it to ease the lid up. Inside she found five sparking crystals, each with its own distinct shape and color.  
  
"There's one for each of us," Yugi explained. "Purple for Nate, blue for me, yellow for you, black for Death, and gray for Dream. Think of it as a set of voodoo dolls...without the voodoo...and the...dolls..."  
  
D slowly ran her fingers over the crystals. Then she closed the box.  
  
Yugi's smile faded. "You...don't like them?"  
  
"No. I love them! Thanks, Yugi." D reached over and squeezed her friend's hand. "Okay, where's the rest?"  
  
"I guess I'll go next," Dream said. "Death and I couldn't decide what to get you, so we got several things. I hope you don't mind, D."  
  
She grinned. "Do I LOOK like I mind?"  
  
"First, I wanted to give you this." He held up a small pouch. "Only use it when you must."  
  
D accepted the pouch. "Hey, this is that stuff you make people fall asleep with! Cool!"  
  
"I realized you could use some, when I noticed you'd been taking it without asking."  
  
D turned bright red. "Uh...that was an impulse thing."  
  
"I'm certain."  
  
"My turn!" Death smiled brightly. "Close your eyes, D. It's a surprise."  
  
D obeyed. "Is it big?"  
  
"Not exactly. Okay, open them!"  
  
D opened her eyes and smiled. Her mother was holding a pair of Dream & Death dolls. "Mom, you shouldn't have."  
  
"I know, but these aren't signed, so no chance of them coming alive."  
  
"I still say that thing looks nothing like me," Dream muttered.  
  
"Don't worry, Unkie Dreamboat," D said, giving him a hug. "I prefer the real you, anyway."  
  
Dream closed his eyes and shuddered. "Destiny also had some gifts for you."  
  
"Really?" D asked in awe. She hadn't had the chance to meet her mysterious uncle yet, but from the way her mother talked about him, he was either the most important or the most powerful of The Endless.   
  
"Yes. He wanted to be sure that you became the best Muse you could be, so he sent these." Dream produced a stack of fairly thick books. "Enjoy." There was a strange look on his face, as if he knew something she didn't.  
  
D browsed through the titles. Among them were "The History of Subreality" (by Kielle & Others), "Subreality Café Codes: Rules for Every Fictive" (by the SC Manager), "The Writer's Café Rulebook" (by Hank McCoy), "The Muse's Guidebook" (by Calliope), and "Searching for The Scribe: The Story of Kielle." D couldn't help noticing that most of the books were thicker than her arm, and that they were all stamped with the Subreality Seal of Approval, though that itself was pretty questionable, since it looked like an anime girl with "Sub-perb!" stamped on her forehead.   
  
"Well, what do you think?" Dream asked.  
  
"I think Unkie Destiny has a weird sense of humor."  
  
"He also wanted me to give you this," Death added, holding up a third doll. It was wearing a long, brown robe with a hood and holding a large, open book. For some reason, it was almost impossible to see the face.  
  
D took the doll and turned it over in her hands. "Is this him?"  
  
Death nodded. "He really is a very interesting person. I think you'll like him."  
  
D held the Destiny doll in her lap. "What else do I get?"  
  
"Just this." Death produced a golden ankh on a necklace. "I know it looks the same as the one you have, but it's better. You don't have to wear it all the time. Just being near it keeps you alive."  
  
"Does it do anything else?" D asked.  
  
"Just this." The ankh suddenly grew to ten times its normal size. "It can become just about anything." The ankh seemed to shudder, then turned into a crossbow.  
  
"I want one!" Yugi whined. "Nate, get me one!"  
  
Nate arched an eyebrow. "We'll see."  
  
"That means no," Dream translated with a grin.  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Anyway, it's my turn."  
  
"Then why aren't you wearing a bow?" D asked with a smile.  
  
"Very funny, but no. I wanted my gift to be different."  
  
"The bow would've been different."  
  
Nate sighed heavily. "I got you this."   
  
D blinked. "There's nothing in your hand, Nate."  
  
"Yes, there is. You just can't see it cuz it's invisible."  
  
"Well...I hope you don't expect me to guess what it is."  
  
Nate grinned. "Nope. It's a key."  
  
"To...?"  
  
"Your new house."  
  
D stared at him. "HOUSE?!"  
  
"Okay, it's more like a cottage. But you can live there, when you're in Subreality."  
  
"Is that invisible, too?"  
  
"Yes. Until you put the key in, anyway. Then it all becomes clear...uh, visible. It's also visible while you're inside."  
  
D looked suspicious. "And...how did you get this house?"  
  
"I wrote it. Well, thought it. Whatever. It's there, and that's what counts."  
  
D felt around Nate's hand until her fingers closed over something. "Okay, now how do I keep track of this thing?"  
  
"You could keep it inside the ankh I gave you," Death suggested. "It also acts as a pocket."  
  
D quickly slipped the key into the ankh. "Okay, we're done with presents. Where's the food?"  
  
Nate's eyes widened a bit. "Um...is that a forklift?"  
  
There was a loud beeping noise as a forklift backed into the room, carrying a gigantic burrito. The forklift stopped by their table, and Hank stepped out. "Dinner," he said, with a low bow, "is most obviously served."  
  
"I think I could learn to like this place," D whispered in awe.   
  
"How do we eat that thing?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Simple," D replied. "WE don't. I do!" She wiped some drool from her mouth.  
  
Nate frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea."  
  
"QUIET! IT'S MINE!" D chuckled giddily and tied a napkin around her neck.  
  
"They don't make forks that big," Death pointed out.  
  
"Who needs a fork?" D sunk her teeth into the burrito and bit off a rather large piece. She chewed, swallowed, then sighed happily. "Perfection."  
  
"You're not really going to let her eat the whole thing, are you, Nate?" Yugi whispered.  
  
Nate shrugged. "All I know is I'm not going near her while she's got that crazed look in her eyes."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"What do you think, Blue?" Makoto asked. "Should we ask them to leave?"  
  
"Well, it is time for the establishment to close. However, I am bound by the masculine tradition to never refuse a female face, particularly when it is eternally young and...cute."  
  
"So that's a no." Makoto turned to Pinocchio. "And you?"  
  
Pinocchio removed the cigar from his mouth. "Did they pay?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did they eat what they ordered?"  
  
"Yes, surprisingly enough."  
  
"Did they cause any trouble?"  
  
"No more than was expected."  
  
The wooden boy shrugged. "They're fine in my book. Long as they don't start anything." He stuck the cigar back in his mouth.  
  
"So no matter what I think, they stay?" Makoto asked uncertainly.  
  
"Correct," Hank replied.  
  
Makoto didn't have the strength to argue. Besides, a clean plate was the best compliment any cook could get, and this party had left plenty of them.   
  
Fortunately, a minute later, the party got up and began to walk out.  
  
Makoto was just thinking of going back to the kitchen to clean up when there was a tug on her apron. She looked down to see a small girl in overalls smiling up at her.   
  
"You made the food, right?" the girl asked.  
  
"Well, yes..." There was something strange about this girl, she could sense it.  
  
"Good. This is for you." The girl pressed something into the cook's hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "That's for the big burrito." She turned to Hank. "I'll be needing a ride out, sir."  
  
"I thought you'd never ask!" Hank leaned down. "What about your friend?"  
  
"No, D won't be riding. Her tummy's too full of burrito." She climbed onto his back and shouted, "Hi ho, Blue Beast! AWAY!"  
  
Hank did his best horse impression and bounded out of the front door.  
  
Pinocchio snorted. "Now THAT was disgusting and degrading at the same time."  
  
Makoto stared at him. "I thought you were supposed to like all that childhood stuff."  
  
"This ain't Disney, doll, it's Subreality. We eat kid stuff for breakfast 'round here." He nodded towards her hand. "What'd the kid give you?"  
  
She opened her hand and was shocked to find several hundred dollar bills there. "A pretty big tip?"  
  
"Well, it was a pretty big burrito," he added.  
  
"No denying that." Makoto counted the bills. "I'm just wondering where that kid got all this money. There's no way the Writer could pull that kind of salary."  
  
"They're gone, you got paid, and everyone's happy. No need to dwell on it." Pinocchio blew one last smoke ring, then dropped his cigar in a nearby ashtray. "Later, doll." With a parting wave, he walked out of the door.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Admit it, D. You had fun!"  
  
"Okay, maybe I did."  
  
"So you'd do it again?"  
  
"Yes and no, Yugi."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I'd do the party again, but I definitely wouldn't eat the burrito again. At least, not by myself."  
  
"Well, good. So, did you like your presents?"  
  
"Yes. Yugi, can we talk about this later? I'm...busy."  
  
"Okay, okay. Night, D! Oh, but one more thing."  
  
"What, Yugi?"  
  
"Nate says to flush. NOW."  
  
"GO AWAY, YUGI!"  
  
"Not until you flush!"  
  
"I DID!"  
  
"DO IT AGAIN!"  
  
"YUGI, GET LOST!"  
  
"Okay, fine! But you'd better spray something when you're done in there! There are other people living here!" Yugi stepped away from the bathroom and walked into the kitchen. "She flushed."  
  
Nate nodded. "Good. Did she spray?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Yugi, you promised you'd get her to spray!"  
  
"I tried, but I can't just walk in there! The scent's practically toxic to my sensitive little Muse nose! You go in there!"  
  
"I'm only human, and I am now convinced that Muses don't have normal...bodily functions. I might pass out or worse."  
  
"Maybe we should call Death?"  
  
"I don't think she'd appreciate that, Yugi."  
  
"Well, she made D! Didn't she know about this stuff?"  
  
"I'm fairly sure it wasn't on her mind at the time. What about when YOU have to do that stuff?"  
  
Yugi looked very offended. "I take care of my business elsewhere. I respect you enough not to drop any bombs--"  
  
"YUGI!"  
  
"--here."  
  
Nate sighed and shook his head. "Note to self: NEVER surprise D with a big birthday burrito again."  
  
"You were only trying to make her birthday special." Yugi hugged his leg. "I think it was sweet."  
  
"Think what you want. I'm not hugging her for at least a week."  
--------------  
Disclaimer: Woo, let's see. Hank, Makoto, and Pinocchio are constants in the Writer's Cafe, so I suppose they belong to whoever controls that...or maybe Kielle...or maybe their original owners. Along with everyone ELSE in the story. Who really knows these things? I just know they're not mine... *wistful sigh*  
  
  
  



	7. Holding Back

This story has a few references to the SCMFF. If you dunno what that is, think wrestling for Muses. Don't worry, you can still enjoy it otherwise. This one's kinda personal, so if you don't wanna know anything about me, don't bother reading. ^_^  
  
Summary: Nate & Yugi discuss their feelings for each other (as only they can).  
  
Holding Back  
by XMAN0123  
---------------------  
The idea was fairly simple, as far as Nate understood. Two or more Muses entered a ring, slugged it out until one couldn't go one, and the other(s) were declared the winner(s). In theory, simple. However, he'd forgotten that when his two Muses were involved, simplicity was dragged into the street, beaten, and pretty much left to die in misery. Then it was exchanged for an incredible amount of frustration, confusion, and followed by depression.  
  
Anyway, Nate was a wrestling fan. He knew all the destruction happened in the ring, around it, or at least somewhere remotely close to the venue. So when he entered his apartment and nearly got his head taken off by a crystal shard, something told him that he'd better go over the rules with at least one of his Muses.  
  
Naturally, Yugi was in the middle of training. That was fine. He'd offered to let her train there, provided she didn't destroy anything that belonged to him. So Nate was understandably upset when he discovered that his couch had become little more than a pin cushion filled with crystal shards.  
  
"Yugi, can I ask you something?!" he shouted over the noise.  
  
Yugi stopped in mid-throw, still gripping a shard in her right hand. "Hey, Nate. Something wrong?"  
  
"Of course not. WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING MY COUCH?!"  
  
She shrugged. "It's big, heavy, and won't fight back. Besides, it's been a long time since I used the shards, and I have to get my aim back before the matches start."  
  
"So you had to kill the vicious couch BEFORE it sunk its rabid teeth into you?"  
  
Yugi rolled her eyes and sighed. "Nate, babe. You know I love you, but you're a HUGE distraction. Very bad for training. If you leave now, I might still convince my source to get you a front row seat."  
  
Nate smirked. "First, Washu is a mad genius and a danger to everything around her, not a 'source.' Next, it wouldn't matter what she could get you. I'm your Writer, which pretty much gives me Manager rights. I'll be at ringside for all your matches, if I have anything to say about it."  
  
"Your undying devotion and concern for me is duly noted and appreciated. You can go now." Yugi turned back to the couch and raised a shard.  
  
"Yugi, if you throw one more shard at the wreck formerly known as my couch, your next fight will be with me."  
  
Yugi paused to size him up. "Okay, but I don't think you're gonna win."  
  
Nate sighed. "Yugi, put the shard away."  
  
"Fine, but if I lose my first match, it'll be your fault!"  
  
"Isn't there any other way you can train?"  
  
"Well, yeah," she admitted. "But you'll just get upset if I show you."  
  
"In that case, show me now so I can be upset all at once."  
  
Yugi led him to her bedroom and turned on the light. In the center of the room, there was a large punching bag hanging from the ceiling. It had obviously been getting the same treatment as the couch, possibly worse. The most disturbing thing about it was the image spray-painted on the front.  
  
Nate cleared his throat. "Yugi, that punching bag looks suspiciously like D."  
  
Yugi ran her hand over the bag. "You think? I never noticed."  
  
Nate picked up his Muse and held her at eye level. "Yugi."  
  
"Okay, but I have a good reason for it!"  
  
"I can hardly wait."  
  
Yugi hopped out of his grasp and gestured dramatically. "See, in wrestling, they have a script to follow, just like we do. So I figured in case I ever have to turn on D for script purposes, I better be ready to take her down."  
  
Nate blinked. "Yugi, you're a tag-team. That means you work together."  
  
"No, but I was thinking that I could go solo first. Then when I got a really tough opponent that was too much for me, D could run in from the crowd and beat him to death with her Super Ankh. Then the Destroyers would be born!" Yugi raised a fist triumphantly. "That'd be our name, by the way."  
  
"Really? I was hoping for Nate's Cutie Pies."  
  
Yugi grinned. "Nice, but no. We have to strike fear in our opponents before we get to the ring."  
  
"D's theme song alone should do that in most cases. There aren't many songs that describe terrorism in such detail."  
  
"Maybe. But I want people to remember that I'm evil and very dangerous."  
  
"You're not. Cuz then I couldn't do this." Nate grabbed Yugi and affectionately kissed her nose.  
  
"Stop that!" Yugi tried to wipe off her nose. "You're ruining my evil aura!"  
  
"You're not evil. You're my Cutie Pie!"  
  
"Only HERE," she insisted. "But once I enter that arena, I'm your worst nightmare!"  
  
Nate shook his head. "Impossible. My worst nightmare involves Washu strapping me into some weird machine and experimenting on me." Then, noticing the look on her face, he quickly added, "And living without you, of course. But then it wouldn't really be living, would it?"  
  
"I'm gonna remember that when I become champion. Then I'll turn on YOU."  
  
"Just remember that it's only a script, Yugi. At the end of the day, all three of us come home to the same apartment. We're still one little, disturbed family."  
  
Yugi tilted her head slightly. "I thought it was one big, happy family?"  
  
"It would be. But I've never encouraged you girls to lie, and I won't start now."  
  
"So you're not happy with me and D?" she asked, pretending to sound hurt.  
  
"Of course I am. But that fact alone is pretty disturbing. Then there's the fact that I let you both sleep in my bed."  
  
"Yeah, but nothing ever happens," Yugi added with a pouty look on her face. "I'm starting to think you might even be ga-"  
  
"Don't you DARE finish that sentence. You know I'm very insecure about what people think and everything else in general."  
  
"So what is it? You don't find me attractive?" She smoothed out her hair a bit. "Is it my hair? My eyes? My skin?"  
  
Nate sighed and sat down on the couch. There was a loud groan, and the legs snapped in two, causing the entire couch to crash to the floor. Once the dust cleared, Nate blinked slowly. "As I've mentioned several times before, I think you're beautiful, Yugi."  
  
"So why do you treat me like your kid sister?"  
  
"Because, in my mind, that's what you have to be. I have yet to encounter a woman that truthfully finds me even marginally attractive, so there's no possible way in the world that someone as cute as you could like someone...well, like me. Plus there's the simple fact that you LOOK like someone's kid sister."  
  
"Nate, I'm thousands of years old!"  
  
"And that NEVER helps your case," he pointed out. "Besides, you're a Muse, and I'm a Writer. That's like a dog and cat...doing it."  
  
"NO, IT ISN'T!" Yugi shouted. "I can name at least one Writer that 'does it' with his Muse on a regular basis!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Some guy. I forget his name. But he does it!"  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Even if that was true, I'm not him."  
  
"But you could be!"  
  
"Yugi, why can't you accept that I'm not going to...y'know...with you?"  
  
"The same reason you'll keep asking me to stop asking. A person's gotta have dreams."  
  
Nate sighed and hid his face in his hands. "Can't you play for the other team or something?"  
  
Yugi arched an eyebrow. "WHAT?"  
  
On some levels, Nate knew what he was about to say could very well get him slapped. Still, it seemed like a good idea at the time. "Y'know. Can't you...uh...change your-"   
  
"Are you suggesting that I somehow magically turn myself into a lesbian? Because if you are, I'll just beat you to death now and save you the total embarrassment of having to admit that you thought of and actually said something so stupid."  
  
"Hey, you're the one that was obsessed with Sasami! In fact, the first time I saw the show, I thought you WERE a les-"  
  
"It's called ACTING, you jerk!" Yugi shouted.   
  
Nate was trying to think of a witty comeback when he noticed a solitary tear running down Yugi's cheek. Though she quickly brushed it away, he knew she wasn't crying to make him feel guilty this time. He decided to start with an apology. "I'm sorry, Yugi. I shouldn't have said that."  
  
"Got that right." She sniffled a bit, possibly for effect.  
  
"I AM sorry, but-"  
  
"No," she interrupted, a wary look on her face. "I don't like those."  
  
"But you have to understand that this is very frustrating for me."  
  
"You think it isn't for me?!"  
  
Nate sighed loudly. "You've made that obvious. But I never would've suggested such a crazy idea if you hadn't kept pushing me."  
  
"Uh huh." Yugi crossed her arms over her chest. "So explain to me how you even have a right to be upset."  
  
"Fine." Nate slid off the couch and placed his hands on her shoulders. "As I said before, I like to think of you as my kid sister." Yugi started to say something, but he pressed a finger to her lips. "At least, part of me does."  
  
Yugi's eyes widened a bit. "And what about the other part?"  
  
"Like I said before, I think you're beautiful. So part of me kinda wants to forget that you look like...well, a kid. That's the part you're looking for, but understand that if I ever let that part win, you wouldn't be my Muse anymore."  
  
She gasped in shock. "But why?!"  
  
"Though I wouldn't know, the impression I get is that once most men get a sample of...y'know...with some female they find extremely attractive, they tend to forget about doing other important things. Like writing."  
  
Understanding dawned on Yugi. "Which means you wouldn't be a Writer-"  
  
"And I wouldn't have a Muse, either. My contract with Pioneer states I can only use you for Muse-related purposes. If I ever violated that by...y'know...or stopped using you for inspiration, they'd take you away from me. And even if D ever forgave me and decided to stay, Subreality as a whole would probably look down on me. And I could forget about ever meeting Kielle. As the Scribe, I imagine she's got enough freaks to avoid."  
  
"So...what was the point of borrowing me in the first place?"  
  
"I figured if you were my Muse, I could become more focused as a Writer. That's always been one of my dreams. Another was to get enough money to buy you from Pioneer, but that one's a long way off."  
  
Yugi smiled a bit. "So how much do I cost?"  
  
"More than all the property damage Mihoshi's ever caused."  
  
Her eyes widened. "THAT much? You'll never be able to afford that!"  
  
Nate shrugged. "Like an incredibly cute Muse once told me, a person's gotta have dreams."  
  
"Ever dream about me?" she asked hopefully.  
  
Nate grinned nervously. "Let's not go there."  
  
"Okay, fine." Yugi cleared her throat. "So. Now what?"  
  
"This is the part where you forgive me for being a jerk."  
  
Yugi looked skeptical. "Why would I do that?"  
  
"Mainly because of all the mushy emotional outpouring I just did. Partially because if you're still mad at me on February 14th, you wouldn't find out what I had planned."  
  
"Sounds reasonable. What'd you get me?"  
  
"You'll find out then." Nate stood up. "That is, if you forgive me."  
  
"Give me one good reason. And don't try repeating anything you just said, either."  
  
Nate thought for a moment. "Fine. Come here."  
  
"Why?" Yugi asked suspiciously.   
  
"This statement requires that I pick you up. The effect is ruined if I'm looking down at you."  
  
Yugi allowed him to lift her to eye level. "Okay, get on with it."  
  
"Have you ever wondered why I let you and D sleep in my bed or hug and kiss you every now and then?"  
  
"Not really. I just sat back and enjoyed it."  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "It's because I love you both, but only to a certain extent. After that, in my eyes, it's just..."  
  
"Wrong?"  
  
"Right. I mean, no, it IS wrong, so you're right, but-"  
  
"Relax, Nate. I get the point," Yugi replied.  
  
"Good. So do you forgive me?"  
  
"On the grounds that you love me and D? No. I already knew that."  
  
Nate frowned. "Okay, fine. I didn't want you to sign up for the SCMFF because I thought you'd get hurt, but when you told me how much you wanted to be in it, I couldn't say no to you."  
  
"Would that be because you're concerned, or because you can't stand the thought of someone damaging my beautiful face?"  
  
"Both. And because I heard Washu might be involved."  
  
Yugi waved a hand dismissively. "Washu's cool, her genius is just misunderstood. Anyway, I'm still waiting on a good reason."  
  
"That was a good reason!"  
  
"You don't want me to forgive you, do you?"  
  
"I'll put it like this. If you don't, I'll never touch you again. Starting now." Nate placed her on the floor and walked away. "I guess I'll have to go shower D with all my affection now."  
  
"Do it and you're both dead."  
  
"What's this? Do I detect jealousy?"  
  
"No, you detect a death threat/promise which WILL be carried out if you even think of giving her all your attention."  
  
Nate kept walking. "You can't kill me. I'm your Writer, remember?"  
  
"And I'm the Muse that can be very evil, when she wants to be." Yugi appeared in front of him. "You're making me happy, angry, confused, and more angry. That's not good."  
  
"Good. Now you know how I feel every time I look at you," Nate replied. "Yugi, even if I was in love with you, I couldn't do anything about it. I certainly wouldn't tell you, because you'd only try to take it further than words. So it's best to just to stop asking me and quit making both of us suffer."  
  
"That may be true, but how do I know you're not in love with me right now?"  
  
Nate's frown slowly turned into a smile. "I guess you don't."  
  
Yugi resisted the urge to reduce him to a pile of ash. "You mean you've been lying all this time?!"  
  
"I didn't say that," Nate replied. "I only said that if I was in love with you, I wouldn't tell you."  
  
"So you're saying you COULD be in love with me right now?" she asked.  
  
"Maybe. Maybe not."  
  
Yugi frowned at him. "I hate you."  
  
"I know." Nate checked his watch. "Anyway, I have to go. I'm meeting Android 18 for lunch."  
  
"Oh, so now you're seeing androids behind my back?"  
  
"Yugi, I'd have problems dating a human girl with a fake leg. Do you really think I could date an android fictive? I just need to talk to her about a story I'm thinking of putting her in."  
  
"How do I know you won't be flirting with her?"  
  
Nate sighed. "Okay, you can come with me. But you have to promise not to wreck any more of my furniture."  
  
"I swear on my little Muse heart," she said.  
  
"Uh...I guess that'll work."  
  
"So I can go?!" Yugi asked eagerly.  
  
"Yeah, sure. But we're going to the Sake Bar, so no Beast rides."  
  
"Aw, man!" Yugi stomped her foot. "Why do we have to go there?!"  
  
"Because 18 agreed to treat me, so she gets to pick the place."  
  
"Wait. How'd you get her to pay?"  
  
"Simple. I promised I'd do a series with her as a main character."  
  
"Figures," Yugi muttered. "Your fictives would do anything to be used."  
  
"You make it sound so wrong."   
  
"Well, it is! All they ever do is eat and get used!"  
  
Nate smirked. "I wonder where they got that from."  
  
"Are you trying to imply your fictives are lazy because of ME?"  
  
"You were my first Muse. They had to get it from somewhere."  
  
"If I didn't love you so much, I'd turn you into a strawberry."  
  
Nate gave her a weird look. "I'm afraid to ask why."  
  
"Cuz then I could just eat you up!" she replied, hugging his neck.  
  
"Cute. Does that mean you forgive me?"  
  
"Only if 18 buys me a Mega Margarita."  
  
"Yugi, you're only ten-"  
  
"Thousand," she added.  
  
"Oh. Right. Sorry."  
  
"Apology accepted," Yugi replied, kissing his cheek. "Now, shall we go?"   
  
"Yeah, sure. But we have to stop by the Dreaming and pick up D. Any objections?"  
  
"Nope. I need to size up my future opponent...uh, partner. I meant partner."  
  
"Sure you did."  
---------------  
Disclaimer: Yugi belongs to Pioneer. Subreality belongs to Kielle. 


	8. Blue Suede Shoes

Yugi volunteers at the Subreality Hospital's Mental Ward, only to be stuck with a very unique patient.  
  
Blue Suede Shoes  
by XMAN0123  
------------  
  
Jean Grey had just finished lunch and was about to make her usual rounds. That is, until she found a small girl sitting on her desk. Drawing on her endless supply of patience, Jean tapped the girl's shoulder. "Excuse me, little girl. Are you lost?"  
  
The girl turned around and smiled up at her. "Hi! I'm s'posed to find a woman named Jean. Do you know her?"  
  
Jean paused for a moment as she looked into the girl's blue eyes. At first, she'd assumed that one of the newer patients had gotten lose. The girl had the definite feel of a fictive. But upon closer inspection, she sensed something more. "You're a Muse."  
  
"Yup! I'm Yugi!" She stood up on the desk and straightened out her overalls, which seemed to be one size too big. "My Writer was busy finishing up a story, so I decided to check this place out, see if I measured up."  
  
Jean arched an eyebrow. "You do know this is a mental hospital, don't you?"  
  
"Oh, sure! I'm here to volunteer for the day."  
  
"Well...usually fictives are the ones that volunteer..."  
  
"I know, but I've got psychic powers, and I have been in stories before. I like to think of myself as a fictive Muse."  
  
Jean considered that for a moment. "As long as you're experienced in the use of your powers..."  
  
"I am," Yugi promised.  
  
"...then I guess there's no problem." She held out her hand. "I'm Jean Grey, the current head nurse around here. Welcome to the temporary staff."  
  
Yugi shook her hand. "So what do I do first? Electroshock therapy?"  
  
Jean smiled uneasily. "Nothing that serious, I'm afraid. Since it's your first day, I'll start you off with one of our harmless patients. Wouldn't want to sour you on the whole experience."  
  
"Okay. Do they have multiple personalities or anything fun like that?"  
  
Anyone who thought of multiple personalities as "fun" most likely had issues of their own, but Jean wasn't about to say so. She didn't even know this child, and had no right to judge her. She couldn't be that bad of a Muse, if she was willing to help sick and dying fictives.  
  
"Yugi, there isn't much fun involved in this kind of work. Anyway, follow me. I'll introduce you to Mike."  
  
"He's not a turtle, is he?"  
  
Jean smiled. "Well, THIS one isn't. Follow me." She couldn't help noticing how Yugi's big blue eyes kept glancing in every direction, almost as if she'd never been in a hospital before. It seemed as if she was trying to take in everything at once.  
  
They stopped outside a room.   
  
"Well, he's in there. Just go in and introduce yourself."  
  
"That's it?" Yugi asked. "Isn't there anything I should know? Some special instructions?"  
  
Jean smiled. "Oh, he'll tell you everything you need to know. I'll be right down the hall if you have any problems."  
  
Yugi looked skeptical, but she slowly pushed the door open.   
  
The room was dark, and the only light came from window. In the center of the room, sitting on his bed, was Mike. He didn't look crazy, but then, he had to be in the hospital for a reason.  
  
Yugi slowly walked over to him. "Hi. Are you Mike?"  
  
He nodded. "You're young. Younger than Jean."  
  
"It's my first day. I'm Yugi."  
  
Mike didn't say anything.  
  
"Oookay." Yugi stuffed her hands into her pockets and rocked on her heels. "So, Mike. Got any hobbies?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Special abilities?"  
  
Mike hesitated. "I...can dance."  
  
"Oh, really? Can I see?"  
  
Mike frowned. "No. Never for strangers."  
  
"Well, what if I danced first?"  
  
"No. Don't wanna see you dance."  
  
Yugi chewed her bottom lip. "What do you like to do?"  
  
Mike thought for a moment. "I like to sing, and dance, and throw things."  
  
"Would you sing-"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay. How do you feel about Muses?"  
  
"Don't know. Never really saw one."  
  
She smiled. "Well, I'm a Muse."  
  
"No. You're a kid. With overalls too big for you."  
  
Yugi closed her eyes, wondering what she'd gotten herself into.  
  
"My feet feel numb."  
  
Yugi opened her eyes. "Um...you want me to massage them or something?"  
  
"No. Hit them."  
  
"Uh...hit them?"  
  
"Yes. Hard. Brings the feeling back."  
  
Yugi hesitated, then lightly tapped his foot.  
  
"Not hard enough."  
  
"Well, maybe if I stepped on it?"  
  
"NO!" Mike roared.  
  
Yugi gasped and backed away. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"  
  
"You can do anything you want to do," Mike said. "But don't you EVER. Step. On My. Blue Suede Shoes."  
  
Yugi blinked. "Whatever you say, Mike."  
  
"Good." Mike scratched his chin and peered at her. "You have red shoes. With white lines."  
  
"I noticed." Yugi poked at the floor with her toe. "You don't like me much, do you, Mike?"  
  
"You're short," he said absently. "Shorter than Jean."  
  
"Yeah, I saw that."  
  
Mike leaned closer, peering at her. "You got blue eyes. Like the sea. And my shoes."  
  
Yugi glanced down. "Uh huh."  
  
"My shoes are good for dancing."  
  
"But you won't dance."  
  
"Nope."  
  
Yugi sighed. "Mike, do you know why you're here?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
She looked up into his eyes. "You do?"  
  
"Yes. To make them scream."  
  
"Make who scream?"  
  
"The girls."  
  
"Um...what?"  
  
"I come out and dance and sing and dance. Then they scream. Then I go home."  
  
Yugi scratched her head. "Okay."  
  
* * * * *  
  
It was midnight when Jean heard slowly approaching footsteps in the hallway. "Is that you, Yugi?"  
  
"Yeah," came the quiet reply.  
  
Jean smiled. "So how'd it go?"  
  
"I don't think I'm cut out for this volunteer stuff, Jean."  
  
"Oh?" Jean sounded surprised. "Why not?"  
  
"That guy was crazy!"  
  
"Yes, that's the general idea..."  
  
"No, you don't get it! He's CRAZY, even for a crazy person!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"YES! He kept telling me all this stuff he could do, but he wouldn't do them. He kept comparing me to you, but then he couldn't remember what YOU looked like. And on top of all that, HE WOULDN'T SHUT UP ABOUT HIS SHOES!"  
  
Jean smiled gently. "Of the blue suede variety?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"He was an Elvis impersonator in his last story. I guess it stuck."  
  
"That's no excuse!" Yugi shouted.  
  
"And why not?" Jean asked.  
  
Yugi looked at Jean as if she had gone crazy. "HE WASN'T WEARING ANY SHOES!!!"  
  
"Well, I know that, and you know that, but he doesn't. And do you know what a volunteer nurse's job is?"  
  
"What?" Yugi asked weakly.  
  
"To make sure that he keeps seeing those shoes. Because if he looks down and doesn't see them one day, it either means he doesn't belong here anymore or that he's really gone crazy."  
  
Yugi groaned and muttered under her breath as she slowly continued down the hall.  
  
Jean chuckled to herself and walked over to Mike's room. She knocked on the door twice. "Mike?"  
  
There was a low groan from inside.  
  
Jean opened the door and nearly tripped over Mike, who was lying in the doorway. "Mike! What happened?"  
  
Through clenched teeth and a large amount of pain, Mike whispered, "She...she stepped...on my...blue suede shoes..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate was just going to bed when Yugi appeared, looking extremely tired. "How'd the volunteering thing go?" he asked.  
  
Without a word, Yugi climbed into bed next to him and pulled the blanket over her head.  
  
"That bad, huh?" He patted her back sympathetically.  
  
"I don't think crazy people are cool anymore," the lump next to him mumbled.  
  
"Can I say I told you so now?"  
  
The lump seemed to loom menacingly. "Not if you value your life."  
  
Nate grinned and patted the lump. "Night, Yugi."  
  
"Shut up and go to sleep."  
-----------  
Disclaimer: Jean Grey belongs to Marvel Comics. Subreality belongs to Kielle.  



	9. A Date with My Angel(s)

Yes, I admit it. I'm a closet Digimon otaku.   
  
Summary: Angemon finally gets Angewomon to go out with him, but his ex shows up. (Don't you just HATE that?)  
  
  
A Date with My Angel(s)  
by XMAN0123  
-----------  
She looked so beautiful that night. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back into a stylish ponytail for perhaps the first and last time. Her wings looked so majestic, even when folded. And her eyes...well, I couldn't really see her eyes. That's the only bad thing about these damn helmets; they're never good for gazing into your date's eyes. But I imagine her eyes were as breathtaking as the rest of her.  
  
I'm surprised she agreed to go out with me. Even after T.K. and Kari openly announced they were a couple, she still hesitated at the thought of becoming more than partners or allies in battle. But I expected that. Part of me wants to think she's just nervous about this whole destiny (or Digidestiny, as it were) thing. But part of me says she might be jealous. Yes, I defeated Devimon, and she defeated Myotismon, but to my knowledge, there never was a Magna Angewomon.   
  
"Angemon?" she asked suddenly, turning to look at me.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why did you ask me out? Really?"  
  
I pretended to be shocked by her question. "You think I have another motive, other than that of enjoying your company?"  
  
"Well, yes. You've never shown any interest in taking me out before, and you-"  
  
"Just because you haven't noticed any interest," I interrupted smoothly, "doesn't mean it wasn't there, Angewomon."  
  
She fell silent, just as I expected her to. That was good. If everything went according to plan, by midnight we'd be slow dancing under the stars. Ah, yes. I could almost feel her warm, lithe body pressed against mine just then...  
  
"Angemon? Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
I wiped the giddy smile off my face and shook my head. "No reason. Just thinking of the future."  
  
"Oh? What did you see?"  
  
I took a sip of my champagne. "What else? An angel, of course. A very beautiful angel."  
  
I wasn't sure, but I thought I could see a hint of red in her cheeks as she glanced away for a moment. Yes, everything was going just as I had planned it...until she walked in.  
  
At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me, and that an old memory of the past had returned, unbidden and unwelcome. But then I looked again, and I could feel all the color draining from my face. What the heck was she doing here, in the same bar as me, and on 'Digimon All-You-Can-Eat' night?! It couldn't have been a coincidence. Her Writer never even attempted Digimon fiction, and she hardly even knew many Digimon fictives. But there she was, along with two other people her size. With my luck, they were probably Muses, too.  
  
"Angemon, what's wrong?" Angewomon asked. "You're so pale! You look like you've seen a ghost!"  
  
Before I could reply, I heard a voice. "Hey, Yugi! Isn't that you-know-who?"  
  
Just the mention of her name brought chills to my spine. I quickly grabbed a menu and tried to hide behind it, but it was too late. She had seen me.  
  
"Hey, it is! Angemon! Oh, ANGEMOOOOOON!"  
  
"Oh, God," I whispered, doubling over as I choked back the rising bile in my throat.  
  
"Angemon?" Angewomon asked, suddenly at my side. "You look ill. Was it something in the food?" She steadied me with her hands. Normally, I would've reveled in the gentleness of her touch, but this was no time for celebration. It was a time for fear, disgust, and soon, outright humiliation. I prayed that by some miracle, she would just turn away before she reached us.  
  
"Hey, Angemon! What are you hiding back here for? It's me!"  
  
I slowly looked up. Yes, it was her, all right. Yugi stood on my right, smiling up at me as if I'd just given her a huge compliment. Behind her was D, the latest addition to her Writer's arsenal of Musery (or as I saw it, misery). They were accompanied by a Chibi Trunks fictive, who had a look on his face that said, "This is gonna be GOOD."  
  
I shuddered involuntarily and fell back into Angewomon's waiting arms. If only I could've enjoyed the feeling of warmth as she embraced me protectively.  
  
"Angemon, who are these people?" she asked.  
  
Yugi's gaze drifted to Angewomon, and I waited for the explosion. There was none. Instead, Yugi smiled and held out her hand. "Hi! I'm Yugi!"  
  
I tried to warn Angewomon, but she had already introduced herself and gripped Yugi's hand.  
  
Yugi continued to smile brightly, even as she strengthened her grip on Angewomon's delicate hand. "I'm also Angemon's ex-girlfriend."  
  
I moaned pitifully just at the mention of it. She had revealed my private shame, and to the new love of my life, no less. I felt as if Piedmon himself had run me through with his Trump Sword.  
  
With some difficulty, Angewomon took her hand back. Then she turned to look at me. "Angemon, is that true?" There was a hint of pain in her voice. Perhaps she had thought that there were no others before her. Perhaps she was just in pain from Yugi's handshake. Either way, I knew the night would just get worse. I was right.  
  
"Hey, I know!" Trunks said. "Since we all know each other, let's sit together!" I would've mercifully ended his idiotic existence right there with a well-placed Hand of Fate, if I hadn't remembered who his father was.  
  
"That's a great idea, Trunks!" Yugi chimed in. "We can catch up on old times!" She placed her hand on my knee. "Isn't that right...Angelcakes?"  
  
I nearly screamed when she touched me. As it was, I let out a horrified squeak at her old nickname for me.  
  
"Angelcakes? What's that?" D asked as they pulled up another table. "Dessert?"  
  
"Nope," Yugi replied. "It was my pet name for him."  
  
"Oh? What was his name for you?" Trunks asked with a huge grin. I was really starting to hate that kid.  
  
Yugi blushed. "Oh, I couldn't. But maybe you could...Angelcakes?"  
  
There was no way I was going to tell them. But my mouth was suddenly beyond my control, and I heard myself say quite proudly, "My Sweet, Adorable Little Angel." Then I knew. She'd used her powers on me! Was there no justice?!  
  
"Aw, how cute!" D cooed, smiling at us.  
  
"Yes," Angewomon muttered quietly. "How...cute."  
  
"I can't imagine why you guys ever broke up," Trunks said.   
  
Oh, no. He didn't. The fool! We were all doomed!  
  
Yugi could've turned me to solid ice with her smile. "Yes, Angelcakes. Why DID we break up?"  
  
I said the only thing I could say. "I sobered up."  
  
There was an astonished silence for a long moment.  
  
"You were DRUNK?" Angewomon asked at last.  
  
"Yes!" I cried, jumping to my feet. "I was in nothing more than a drunken stupor the entire three days! I have no memory of what happened!"  
  
"Then how'd you know it was three days?" Yugi asked, grinning at me.  
  
My jaw dropped. I could see I wasn't going to get away that easily. I would have to tell the truth...and get beaten to a bloody, feathery pulp in the process. "Fine. If you really must know--"  
  
"Oh, we must," D interrupted.  
  
I glared at her. "I found someone else."  
  
The astonished silence was repeated.  
  
"You were cheating on ME?!" Yugi cried.  
  
"Of course not. I am an angel. I broke up with you as soon as I met her."  
  
"And just who is this person?" Trunks asked with great interest.  
  
"Well...her," I admitted, pointing at Angewomon. And it was true. When I met her, I knew she and I were destined to be. I also knew that Yugi was not walking on the side of angels. Even the side of demons was afraid of her.  
  
"That's just WRONG!" D cried. "It's just like a man to leave as soon as he finds someone more attractive!"  
  
"Excuse me?!" Yugi cried. "Who's side are you on?!"  
  
"I dunno, girls," Trunks said dreamily. "She IS kinda hot."  
  
Another astonished silence. Followed by the sound of Yugi blasting Trunks through the nearest wall.  
  
"TRAITOR!" she screamed, scrambling out of the hole she'd just created. "I can't believe I ever went out with you!"  
  
D followed at a distance, pausing to throw one more hateful glare at me.  
  
Angewomon blinked slowly. "Well. That was...enlightening."  
  
"I tried to tell you," I began, but she placed a finger against my lips.  
  
"Angemon? Shut up and kiss me."  
  
All my physical discomfort seemed to fade as we leaned forward. And then those damn helmets got in the way again. It felt as if someone had turned my head into a bell. When my ears finally stopped ringing, I found a slip of paper inside my left pocket. It simply read, "Call me! --D."  
  
Before the confusion had a chance to register, Angewomon tilted my head upward. "NOW kiss me," she said. And this time, I did. The feel of her lips against mine was...well...heavenly (no pun intended). And when she broke the kiss, it was all I could do to keep from grabbing her right there.  
  
"Angewomon," I breathed, "does this mean what I think it does?"  
  
"No," she replied, smiling and giving me a pat on the cheek. "I don't do that on the first date."  
---------------  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners, you know the deal. 


	10. Yugi's Diary

A response to the Introspection Muse Challenge. I was bored, and had some rare free time. Deal with it, if you can. ^_^ Warning: It gets angsty, but that's what you guys wanted, right? Rated PG-13 for all the usual reasons, of course.  
  
The Sound of One Muse Angsting (I don't care if it's a real word or not, it FITS, dangit!)  
By Yugi   
(or XMAN0123, if you want to get all technical about it...)  
--------------  
Dear Diary:  
  
I've decided that I hate him. Of course, lots of Muses say that about their Writers. But I mean it. I hate the way he teases me, the way he knows what I'm thinking before I say it, and the way he and D are the only two non-fictives that can turn me into a total wuss with their mushiness. It used to be the other way around.  
  
When it was just Nate and me, things were simple, mostly. I batted my eyelashes, pouted a little, gave him the Bambi eyes, and got just about anything I wanted. Or, if I didn't feel like going through all that, I just reached into his head and made him do what I wanted. Like I said, simple.  
  
But just before D came along, I realized something. I wasn't just a Muse to him. I was his child, his anime addiction personified, the object of his affection, and best friend rolled into one energetic, adorable little ball. And so I love that baka, too.  
  
Dammit! Vegeta's rubbing off on me again! If I ever slipped like that in front of Nate, I'd never see the end of his father-daughter bonding fics. He keeps joking that I'm permanently stuck in Super Saiyan mode. Of course, if I really was, he'd be cowering in fear instead of laughing at me. Maybe I'll get the V-Man to beat him up later.  
  
So I love Nate, and I hate him, too. He won't love me back. At least, not the way I want him to. He keeps giving me reasons: endangering our "business" relationship and friendship, the jealous fictives that would be after him, and D, of course. But his biggest reason is the worst: he sees me as a child.  
  
I am NOT a child. I'm over ten centuries old, and I have the wisdom and experience to prove it. Sure, I might act like I'm ten, but I've found that cuteness has its advantages. But Nate doesn't get that. Well, he does, but he acts like he doesn't. And that's what hurts the most. He knows how I feel, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way, but he won't do anything about it.  
  
D tries to help, but she really doesn't do much. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her anymore. I mean, she's my sister and Muse partner in crime, and I love her. She even once told me that she wasn't really in love with Nate, that she just enjoyed the flabbergasted look on his face when she teased him. But Nate still uses her as a reason. He'd do anything to keep from falling completely in love with me. I hate that.  
  
I haven't had too much luck with guys. Sure, I remember Angemon, Trunks (one of them, anyway), Heero, and most of the others fondly, but that wasn't real love. It was just ficcy love. It lasts for a story, and then it's gone. But I *love* Nate. There's no question, no doubt in my mind. I want to be with him for at least a century, and that's real commitment for me. Heck, for anyone!  
  
But he keeps pushing me away. Sure, I can squeeze hugs out of him easily, and even some kisses (though most tend to land on my cheek or forehead). But it's not enough. I want more than just bits of affection. I don't want him to see me as a little girl anymore. I want to be more than just a source of inspiration. I don't just want to be a girlfriend, either. I want-no, need-more than that. I want to be his lover.  
  
There, I said it. It's higher up than a girlfriend, but not quite a wife. I want us to be an item. I want him to let go of his silly little rules and say, "Sorry, D, but there's only room for one Muse in my bed tonight." Okay, so maybe he wouldn't say it like that, but you get the idea. And get those sick pictures out of your head! We don't *do* anything in there except sleep and snore. Well, Nate and D, do, respectively. But as for me, I stare.  
  
I stare at Nate's face for as long as possible in the near-darkness, trying to figure out what it would take. Trying to find that one thing that would make him love me without any inhibitions. But I haven't found it yet, or maybe it just isn't there. Maybe it doesn't exist at all. I don't really know. But I won't stop looking.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if he knows how much I care about him. I'm not sure, but every now and then, when I wake up in his arms (well, one of them), he's looking at me with a strange smile on his face. As if to say, "You're getting closer, Yugi. Just a few more steps, and we can be together." Well, what's what I imagine he's thinking. Usually makes my mornings go better, too.  
  
I know he loves me to a certain extent. He has to. Even after D joined us, we have these days where we just sit there and look into each other's eyes. Usually, I'm sitting in Nate's lap, and he'll have his arms around me in that embrace that says, "I love you, but not *that* way." But when he's looking at me with that "I-wish-I-could-say-how-much-I-really-love-you" look, it's worth the torture.  
  
I'm hoping he'll come to his senses soon. If he doesn't, I might have to go into his head and force him. I'd hate that, because it wouldn't be honest, but Nate doesn't realize how much I need his love. I'll take it, if I have to. I don't want to take it, but...well...I'm so tired of waiting, so weary of wanting him from far off. I know it would be like going back to my evil ways, but I can't help it. Sometimes I want him so much it hurts, and those are the nights that I spend alone, crying myself to sleep on Vegeta's couch or sharing Sasami's bed. She seems to know a lot about unrequited love from dealing with Tenchi, and she says she understands. Vegeta never says anything, and he clearly doesn't understand, but he cares (though he'd never admit it). That's enough.  
  
Nate doesn't know about that stuff, of course. I could never tell him. He's really sensitive about my feelings, and it would kill him if he knew how much he was hurting me. He only teases me out of fun, and I can take that. It never occurred to him that my rediscovery of a love of blowing up things was directly related with his refusal to become more than friends. A Muse has to vent, after all.  
  
Anyway, I better stop now, before I get too depressed. Nate can sense that, ironically enough. If know the true cause of my mood swings, he doesn't call me on it. He wouldn't dare do that, because the last time he did, he lost a good chunk of his apartment and some of his hair from the resulting explosion. Yes, he had the chunk repaired, and the hair grew back (not quite in the same way, but I'm not gonna tell him...), and he learned a lesson from it, too: Don't piss Yugi off if you value you life/living space.  
  
So that's where I'll end this. Thanks for listening, or at least for holding still while I wrote in you. Cuz you don't wanna piss me off. You wouldn't like me when I'm pissed. With the exceptions of Vegeta and Cell, no one would.   
  
Hugs & Kisses (Reserved Exclusively for Nate),   
Yugi  



	11. A Lovely Eevee-ning

Summary: Yugi & D convince Nate to get them pets. Be afraid.  
  
PG-13 and all that good stuff.  
  
A Lovely Eevee-ning  
  
By XMAN0123 (Nate)  
  
So it wasn't the best of days, or even the worst. But Nate felt.good, truly good, and that was becoming rare for him. There was very little that could ruin his mood.and, of course, the girls would most likely test that as soon as he opened the front door.  
  
But there was no explosion, flying objects, or even the usual broken furniture. Nate blinked and lowered his wrist, which was half-hidden in one of those fancy light shield devices straight out of Outlaw Star. Most people only hid keys under the mat. But most people didn't keep two dangerous Muses in their home, either.  
  
"Girls? You home?" Nate asked, peering into the dark apartment.  
  
It was an odd question, since it was his home. D had her own house, and Yugi alternated between there, Nate's place, Toonami Central, and the Pioneer offices whenever necessary. But both Muses had their own rooms in Nate's apartment, simply because they liked being close to him.  
  
There was no reply, and Nate began to get suspicious. Quiet either meant the girls weren't home, or they'd done something and were trying to hide it. But a thorough search proved to be fruitless: there was no mess.and no Muses, either.  
  
Puzzled by the unusual turn of events, Nate sat on his couch and tried to figure out why the girls wouldn't be home to greet him. It was nowhere near anyone's birthday or the anniversary of the days Yugi & D had become his Muses.  
  
Nate's thoughts (and more importantly, his precious few moments of silence) were interrupted by two joyous shouts of, "Natey, we're home!" He looked up just in time to see his Muses falling through one of Yugi's portals and into his lap. Naturally, he was instantly smothered in hugs, kisses, and rushed explanations (most likely fueled by sugar rushes) of where they had been and why it was so cool.  
  
After ten seconds, Nate finally sighed and said, "One at a time, please."  
  
Yugi and D looked at each other, nodded, and replied simultaneously, "Okay."  
  
Somewhat surprised by that, Nate's eyes widened, but he said nothing.  
  
"Well, it's like this, Beloved Writer of Ours," Yugi said, looking simply adorable as she laid her head on his chest. "We want pets, and we think you should get them for us."  
  
"Okay." It was a nice, non-committing word that Nate had come to love since acquiring Muses.  
  
"Before you disagree, we have several reasons why you should get them. D?"  
  
D cleared her throat and pulled a list out of her pocket. "First and foremost, Yugi is an Anime Muse. Therefore, she is required to have at least one Pokémon, Digimon, or other Anime Monster in her keeping. Second, it would be VERY rude if you got Yugi one and then didn't get me one."  
  
Nate smiled. They'd obviously given this some thought. "Continue."  
  
"Third, you yourself are the owner of the following games: Pokémon, Versions: Red, Yellow, and Gold."  
  
"They were all gifts," Nate protested.  
  
"Fourth, you recently purchased a VERY thick Pokémon guidebook."  
  
"Uh.an impulse buy. And it was on the bargain table!"  
  
"Finally, not getting us pets will result in hours of."  
  
Yugi took a deep breath, scrunched up her face, and said in a perfect impression of Team Rocket's Butch, "I want a pet, Nate!"  
  
Nate's eyes widened in sheer terror.  
  
D put her list away. "I trust our reasons are satisfactory?"  
  
Nate blinked. "Um.well.I've got a few conditions."  
  
"Name them," D said confidently.  
  
"Okay. They have to be Pokémon, since I'm most familiar with them."  
  
"Deal," Yugi replied.  
  
"They have to be at level 5 or lower."  
  
D started to open her mouth, but Yugi shot her a look. "Fine."  
  
"They can't be Fire, Poison, Rock, Steel, or Electric types. I won't be hospitalized or have my home destroyed by a 'pet' I got for you two."  
  
"Okay," Yugi agreed.  
  
"I reserve the right to have final say over the ultimate decision, and will remove any pet from your keeping that I think is too dangerous.assuming you don't have any yet, of course."  
  
"We don't," D promised. "So can we have them?"  
  
"Maybe," Nate said at last. "But I'm not cleaning up after them. You have to take care of them all by yourselves."  
  
"So that's a yes?" Yugi asked, smiling hopefully.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"YAAAAAAY!"  
  
Nate was promptly smothered in more hugs and kisses, followed by arm tugs. It seemed his Muses wanted pets that very instant.  
  
"I know the perfect place!" Yugi said. "It's cheap, too! Oh. But you might wanna bring some of your old Pokémon, in case we have to trade."  
  
"Not a problem. I think I've got a few Electric types in storage." He gave D a curious look. "Are you sure this isn't something Yugi dragged you into?"  
  
D looked offended. "Course not! She only suggested it, and I thought it was a good idea. Plus, there's no way SHE gets I pet and I don't!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Gary and Gold's Eevee Farm?!"  
  
"What?" Yugi asked. "It's cheap, just like I said!"  
  
"And look, Nate!" D said. "The sign says they make all sorts of trades!"  
  
"I don't know about this, girls. I mean, are you sure you want to buy anything from Gary?"  
  
Yugi smirked. "Oh, come on, Nate. WE'RE not the ones who attempted THREE separate fanfics where Gary was a good guy."  
  
"Untrue. He joined Team Rocket and murdered Ash & Pikachu in one of them."  
  
"Well, he was still the main character!"  
  
"I fail to see your point."  
  
"Fine. You can wait outside. We're going in. We'll come get you once we've picked out our pets."  
  
"I don't think so. You two need supervision while shopping."  
  
"Hmm. Guess you gotta come in with us, then," D said, grinning at Yugi. "Darn."  
  
"Darn it all to heck," Yugi agreed with a similar smile.  
  
"Oh, shut up and get in there," Nate muttered, pushing them inside.  
  
The first thing the girls saw was a very adorable Eevee on the front desk, playing with a rubber ball.  
  
"Oh, it's so CUTE!" Yugi cooed. "I just gotta pet it!"  
  
"Me first!" D shouted, shoving past her.  
  
"Hey! You're not even an Anime Muse!"  
  
"So? I still get one!"  
  
However, before the girls could reach it, the Eevee leaped away, landing on the shoulder of a young man who was emerging from the back room.  
  
"Sorry, kiddies. This Eevee's merely a display item. In fact, she's mine." He paused and noticed Nate standing at the door. "Oh. It's you guys."  
  
Nate frowned. "Hi, Gary."  
  
Gary grinned. "Natey-boy! Finally came to see me, huh?"  
  
Yugi and D turned to look at their Writer. Both had huge grins. "You were supposed to come see him?"  
  
"Oh, sure. Nate's gonna put in some of his fanfics.sooner or later. We had a deal."  
  
"Would this deal, by any chance, help us get some discounted Eevees, Mr. Gary?" D asked hopefully.  
  
"Nope. Wasn't that kind of deal. Sorry."  
  
"Well, can't we play with yours for a little bit?" Yugi asked.  
  
"Hmm.that's up to her, I guess." Gary turned to his Eevee. "How 'bout it, girl? You feel like takin' a chance on them?"  
  
"Vee!" the Eevee replied, hopping to the floor. She was instantly surrounded.  
  
"Oooh, look at her little tail!"  
  
"And her ears are so cute!"  
  
Nate sighed and pulled Gary aside. "Look. I'm sorry it's taking so long, but frankly, I don't know if people are ready for a Gary fic."  
  
Gary smirked. "More like you don't think you're capable of doing me justice."  
  
Nate glared at him. "I can do ANY anime character justice."  
  
"Melvin from Sailor Moon."  
  
"Anyone BUT him!"  
  
"Sure, Nate."  
  
Nate was about to say something else when Yugi tugged on his arm. "Now what?"  
  
"If you and Mr. Gary are done shooting evil looks at each other, we'd like to see the Eevees now, please."  
  
"Right this way, little ladies!" Gary said, indicating a door behind him. "Beyond this door, you'll find some of the finest Eevees you've ever seen!"  
  
Yugi pulled on Nate's hand. "C'mon, Nate!"  
  
"No, thanks, Yugi. I've seen Eevees before. I think I'll stay out here and look at some evolution stones. Just come get me when you're done."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gold wasn't really busy at the moment. More like bored. Despite how popular Eevees were, every business had its slow days. Today was one of his.that is, until he heard two childlike voices.  
  
"Oooh, look at THAT one!"  
  
"But THAT one's sooo much better!"  
  
"You're crazy, D! What would YOU know about Pokémon, anyway?"  
  
"I know neither of us has one yet."  
  
Gold turned to see two small girls entering the field, pausing every five seconds to admire the nearest Eevees. Beyond them, he could see Gary at the gate. His partner nodded, and Gold smiled knowingly.  
  
"Well, what might you two little ladies be looking for?" Gold asked.  
  
"Two of your finest Eevees, sir," D replied.  
  
Yugi elbowed her. "We'd like two baby ones."  
  
"Babies? Hmm.you'd want to look at our beginner's bunch." Gold led them over to a large patch of grass, where several tiny Eevees were playing. "These are the youngest ones we have."  
  
"Well.how do you tell the boys from the girls?" D asked.  
  
Gold gave her a blank look, then chuckled. "Just tell me which you want, little missy, and I'll pick one out for you."  
  
"I know how to pick the one I want!" Yugi reached into her pocket.  
  
"Uh.what are you doing?" D asked.  
  
Yugi pulled out a glowing crystal shard. "I'll take the one that reacts to this shard. It's filled with some of my psychic power." She waved the shard over the Eevees a few times.  
  
After a few seconds, one Eevee jumped up and latched onto the shard.  
  
Yugi smiled. "See? Got mine already."  
  
"Looks like a job for my doll collection then," D muttered.  
  
"Doll.collection?" Gold asked, looking puzzled.  
  
"Yup. My Endless doll collection!" D pulled out a Delirium doll. "I'll use this one, since it's the cutest."  
  
Almost instantly, the Del doll was tackled by an anxious Eevee.  
  
"I'm keeping this one!"  
  
Gold scratched his head. "Well, it's not exactly a Pokédoll, but it worked just as good."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Nate! Look what we got!"  
  
Nate looked up from the evolution stone display to see his Muses running towards him, each cradling a tiny Eevee in her arms. "I take it you found what you wanted, then?"  
  
"Not quite. Now we want stones to go with them!" Yugi replied.  
  
Nate frowned. "No way. These things are VERY expensive."  
  
"Aw, come on, Nate!" D whined. "You never buy us stuff anymore!"  
  
Nate sighed. "Even if I DID have the money, you two need to learn to sacrifice. When I was your age, I didn't have ANY pets."  
  
"That's because you didn't know about Subreality then," Yugi replied.  
  
"That's not the point!" Nate snapped.  
  
"Y'know, I COULD help you out," Gary said, suddenly appearing behind Nate. "But it'll cost you."  
  
"As usual," Nate muttered. "Okay, fine. What do you want?"  
  
"A love interest in every story you put me in."  
  
Nate rolled his eyes. "Who?"  
  
"Jessie, Misty.oooh, and that Frieda chick. She was VERY cute."  
  
"Okay, okay. Now tell them they can't have the stones."  
  
Gary grinned. "Girls, the truth is, you don't even NEED stones for those Eevees."  
  
"We.don't?" Yugi asked. "But.I thought they needed stones to evolve?"  
  
"Oh, sure the OLD ones did," Gary replied. "But these are new generation Eevees! Oh, you COULD settle for a boring Jolteon, a sickly Vaporeon, or a weakling Flareon, but for the best Pokémon, you have to evolve them naturally!"  
  
"How do we do that?" D asked.  
  
"Simple! These Eevees will grow when they have complete trust and unquestionable love for their trainers. So shower them with happiness, and they grow just for you."  
  
"Wow!" Yugi cried. "What'll they turn into?!"  
  
"Well.wait and see," Gary replied with a wink.  
  
"Mine's gonna evolve first!"  
  
"In your dreams, Yugi! Mine obviously loves me more!"  
  
"Hold it," Nate said. "We're not going anywhere until you girls name them. I'm not gonna have you shouting 'Mine!' every five seconds."  
  
"I think I'll call mine Cleo," Yugi said, giving her Eevee an affectionate kiss on the head. "Lookit, she likes that name, don't you, Cleo?"  
  
Cleo squealed happily and hopped onto Yugi's head.  
  
Yugi grinned. "See, Nate? Just like Ash and Pikachu!"  
  
"Then your name is Leon," D said, holding up her Eevee. "How's that sound?"  
  
Leon swished his tail against her nose.  
  
"Now, there's the matter of the payment," Gary announced, his grin growing wider.  
  
"Pay the good man, Nate," Yugi replied.  
  
Nate muttered something under his breath. "Fine. I'll give you a Lanturn and a Corsola."  
  
Gary stared at him. "What the heck am I gonna do with a Corsola?"  
  
"The same thing I'm doing. Trade it for something GOOD," Nate growled.  
  
"I'll take the Lanturn, but you better give something worthwhile for the second Eevee. For example, that Dratini you caught last week."  
  
"NO! It took me WEEKS to catch one!"  
  
"These are top-of-the-line Eevees, Natey-boy. You're not just gonna dump some washed-up Pokémon on me for them."  
  
"What about a rare one?" Yugi asked. "Would that help?"  
  
"It'd have to be really rare," Gary said.  
  
"Okay, here." Yugi drew out a pokeball. "Here's a Togetic. Nate doesn't need it anymore."  
  
"TERRY!" Nate shrieked, snatching the pokeball out of her hands. "Yugi, you heartless FIEND! I'm not giving up Terry!"  
  
"You don't even use him that much!"  
  
Gary grinned. "Tell you what, Nate. You can keep your precious Terry. Just let me breed him with my Ditto a few times."  
  
Nate glared at him. "It's just like you to want my prized Pokémon's firstborn."  
  
"Hey, you want the Eevees or not?"  
  
"Fine! But for this, Satoshi gets to beat you in a battle!"  
  
"What?! NO!" Gary screamed as the Writer shoved his Muses out of the door. "NATE, YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Okay, new rule."  
  
Yugi & D paused and looked up their Writer. "Huh?"  
  
"If you're planning on sleeping with your Eevees, you're not doing it in my bed."  
  
"But that's not fair! You know they require constant love and attention from us!" Yugi cried.  
  
"Yeah! Just like WE require constant love and attention from YOU!" D added.  
  
"Sorry, but I won't have any fur in bed. So unless you can think of another way for us all to be together without getting fur in my bed, we won't-"  
  
"I've got an idea," Yugi said, an evil smile appearing on her face.  
  
Nate actually took a step back. "Um.what?" he asked in a small voice.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"This is SO not what I had in mind, Yugi."  
  
"Can't talk; sleeping," Yugi murmured into Nate's chest.  
  
"You have to admit it's very comfy, Nate," D whispered, her eyes drifting shut.  
  
"Well.yeah, but still."  
  
Anything else the Writer might have said was lost in a loud, rumbling snore that shook the walls of D's invisible house.  
  
Nate sighed and closed his eyes, affectionately patting the tremendous bulk beneath him. "Night, Sleepy."  
  
As if in response, the Snorlax grunted and twitched a bit, then snored again.  
  
Nate sighed again. "Just please please PLEASE don't let him roll over."  
  
Disclaimer: All Pokémon mentioned belong to.er.GameFreak and Nintendo, I guess. So do Gary and Gold and all the girls Gary desires. Oh, and Satoshi, too. Yugi & D belong to me.sorta. 


	12. Beyond Subreality: The Many Mysterious L...

Note: This is really just a self-evaluating essay. I find it easier to critique myself if someone else does it for me, so...  
  
Summary: An in-depth look at Nate, from the eyes of his first Muse, Yugi.  
  
Disclaimer: Both poems were written, typed, and thought up by _Nate, the Not-So-Great_.  
  
Beyond Subreality: The Many Mysterious Lives of Nate  
By Yugi  
  
  
I don't usually do this. Ever.   
  
Generally, my Writer's personal life is his own, and as one of his Muses, it's part of my job to keep it that way. We don't talk about Nate to anyone. Not the real Nate, anyway.   
  
But that's because there IS no real Nate.  
  
The REAL Nate was killed off by Marvel months ago (darn them all to heck and back).   
  
You'd think my Writer would at least change his online handle because of that.  
  
You'd be wrong.  
  
The real Nate's death only seemed to cement my Writer's role as a permanent X-Man fanboy. I guess I can't really blame him. How could he not identify with Nate? Outcast from another world, alone, uncertain of his purpose, unsure who-if anyone-he could trust. That's practically his whole life...minus the cool powers, daily battles to the death, and run-ins with the X-Men, of course.  
  
But my Writer isn't one of those types who takes his daily frustrations out on his fictives. He doesn't punish Nate in his stories, at least not that much. Instead, he hooks Nate up with cute mutant chicks (Threnody & Jubilee to name a few), cute anime alien chicks (Sasami & myself), and cute would-be goddesses (Death & Desire). Sometimes I think the real Nate would've been more fortunate if my Writer had created him. At least then he'd still be alive. Why die for a noble cause when there's adoring, attractive, attentive women all around you?  
  
And so what if my Writer wants to live vicariously through a fictive? What if he doesn't mind seeing his high hopes and dreamy fantasies trapped behind the glowing screen? For the price of one or two headaches a month, it's a pretty sweet deal.  
  
Sort of.  
  
Nate pretty much stayed anywhere from 18 to 21 during his short-lived run. But my Writer's getting older, enduring his second year at college. And you'd think he might lose interest in Nate and comics and anime, or Writing, or maybe even me, his adoring little Muse and number one cheerleader.  
  
But he hasn't. And it worries me.  
  
As much as I enjoy and envy my Writer's devotion to Writing and his Muses and his fictives, his loyalty to Subreality is almost scary at times. I can think of countless projects and essays and research papers he's put off just to entertain readers with humorous tales of me and D's (and now Gamer and Deemon's, too) wacky misadventures. And it's not that we don't appreciate how much time he gives us.  
  
But his "me time" has now become "us time", and I'm worried that my Writer will feel he doesn't exist without us.  
  
Here's how it's supposed to work. Writers are frustrated enough with daily human life. So they let out their frustrations and other experiences by Writing about them. Eventually, they discover Subreality, thinking of it as a place to hide from the harsh reality of where they really live. But the thing is, they all have to go back to reality sometimes. Of course, they can always return to Subreality, but they can't stay. Not forever. Therein lies the problem.  
  
My Writer's situation is...different.  
  
He almost never leaves Subreality. And I really mean that.  
  
You might think, "But wait, he's in college now. He has to go to classes."  
  
Wrong again.   
  
Physically, he shows up for class every day (usually). Mentally, he's millions of miles away, hiding in Nate's Place or the Sake Bar or D's invisible house or The Dreaming. And his grades reflect that, as you might have guessed. So far, he's only failed one class. This semester, it might be two or three. Next, it might be five or six.  
  
I can't really blame him. Subreality is a very appealing place. It's the one place where you can be anyone but whom you were born to be. And so my Writer jumps at the chance to escape his natural role, to be free. Nate has it easy. Darryl, in sharp contrast, does not.  
  
The solutions are just so much easier here.  
  
Darryl can't find a date. Ever.  
  
Nate is surrounded at all times by two young, female, adorable Muses (and now one adorable girl virus that forever smells of sugar cookies).  
  
Darryl loves to write, but not about the various types of criticism (some so ancient they aren't even used anymore) or the culture of a forgotten Bushmen tribe in Africa.  
  
Nate loves to Write and does so with little or no inhibitions. He doesn't write boring essays, he Writes entertaining stories and fanfics and poems that people actually do seem to enjoy reading.  
  
As his Muse, I know I should sit him down and talk to him. Explain to him why he can't keep living this way, or one day he won't really be living at all.  
  
Except that he loves me the way a father would his child, or maybe an older brother would his baby sister. And evil as I once was, I can't figure out a way to tell him without breaking both our hearts. So I keep quiet and let the good times roll, for as long as they last. We're a family in every way that matters to my Writer, and that's what's important.  
  
He only wants what's best for us all. He's given me a sister, a sweet-smelling cousin, and now a boyfriend. How can I make him realize he hasn't done anything for himself the whole time?  
  
And I used to think that because of his social anxiety, he'd never meet a girl. I mean, never. But now he's met another Writer who seems to get along with him pretty well. Of course, they're just friends, and that's probably all they'll ever be, knowing him. She adores us and is always asking for advice, since she's got a whole gang of destructive Muses who like to cause trouble, along with a monster of a dog who acts more like a giant puppy. And so grows our loving family, I suppose. It's nice, seeing him interact with someone who deals with the same issues that he does.  
  
You might wonder why he never gets tired of being (or pretending to be) Nate Grey. One word: (and Madonna's personal mantra) reinvention.  
  
The Many Mysterious Lives of Nate, indeed.  
  
The original Nate Grey, of course. Marvel-born, Marvel-killed (and strangely enough, NOT Marvel-reborn).  
  
And then the fictive Nate Grey, commonly used, never abused, always amused (or amusing).  
  
From there, it just gets...interesting.  
  
Natey Grey (younger adopted cousin of the fictive), the X-Kid, leader of a darling little collective known as the Cute Troop. Along with Jacko/Darkie (Darkness, but shorter), Sara/Witchie-Poo (Witchblade, but cuter), Lori/Crib Raider (Angie Jolie, eat your heart out), Wink (Blink, but quieter), and Penny (Penance, but...smaller?). They were absolutely adorable while they lasted. From Sara's huge crush on Natey to Jacko's frequent denial of Lori's feelings for him (and vice versa). And don't even get me started on Big Head (Magneto, pint-sized and big mouthed) and the Babyhood of Bed-Wetters. But as I said, that was then.  
  
Next up was another Natey, only this one was befriended by Delirium of all people (or maybe it should be things?). And he grew up to be such a nice fellow...if you could call waking up with four of The Endless in your apartment nice.   
  
There were countless others.  
  
Nate 'Hitman' Hart, pro wrestler. No relation at all to Bret Hart, my Writer's one-time idol and fave WWF superstar of all time. But the resemblance was uncanny, and I ain't talking X-Men, either.  
  
Natey the Pooh. Yes, you heard right. Pooh. As in chubby (though I hear husky is the polite term now), lovable Pooh Bear. Thankfully, it wasn't really my Writer's idea, but let's just say he has weird taste in pals and leave it at that. Although the theme song was so cute you couldn't help but sing along. "Funky lil' telepath, all stuffed with power!" Ahem. I think that's how it went...  
  
_Nate, the Not-So-Great_ is his current hang-up. Humble, but negative, too.  
  
The list goes on, and I wasn't exactly around for all of it. I only know what he has enough guts to show me. From all that, and what I know now, I've decided he has a wonderful mind. In Subreality, anyway. Elsewhere...hard to say.  
  
But whenever he leaves to go back to reality, we're right here, silently cheering him on and hoping he'll come home no worse than when he left us. Sometimes we get our wish, sometimes we don't. Either way, he's almost always happy to see us, and if we were in his shoes, I bet we would be, too.  
  
If I had one wish, I think it would be to make him a permanent in Subreality. I know he hates to work, but I bet he'd take a job in the Writer's Café in a heartbeat. And he wouldn't have to hide behind his Nate Grey avatar...because he would BE Nate Grey, for the first time in his life. He would be happy, and I would be happy, knowing my Writer's fondest wish had come true.  
  
But for all my power as a Muse, I can't fix his life. I can only help him on this side. I fear for him each time he returns to reality, because I know each time, he's leaving more and more of his soul here, in Subreality. And I just wonder how much of it he'll have to leave before someone or something finally grants that one wish for him, for all of us.  
  
He's probably the only person that wants a third option in the afterlife. He doesn't want heaven, or even hell. He wants Subreality. God knows I can't give it to him, but I'll do my best each and every day of our lives. I have to. Because he does the very same thing for me and the others, each and every day of his life...what's left of it, anyway.  
  
In our earlier nights, I once found him hard at work, bent over his desk. It wasn't a story, but a poem. He told me it was about a girl in his class he liked, but the more I read it, the more it sounded like me.  
  
  
The Lady  
  
The Lady of love  
Dances through my mind  
Twisting my memories  
With her hypnotic wind  
  
The Lady of love  
Knows my power  
Gently torturing me  
Hour after hour  
  
The Lady of love  
Embraces my pain  
And in her own way  
Helps me maintain  
  
The Lady of love  
Kisses my tears  
Holds me close  
Shares my fears  
  
The Lady of love  
Is but a dream  
Created out of longing  
Of a boy who can't seem  
To get a wish  
Or a fantasy  
Maybe soon  
It'll come to me  
  
The Lady of love  
Lives before my eyes  
Smiles brightly at me  
Catches my surprise  
  
The Lady of love  
Her intoxicating dance  
The highest peak  
Of our romance  
  
The Lady of love  
A lovely friend  
My only one  
Until the end.  
  
  
This next one is the only poem Nate ever wrote about writing/typing, back before he joined Subreality.  
  
  
My Art, My Life  
  
Tainted fantasies, locked in my head  
Dreamy memories, dreamt in my bed  
Released through my pen, ever at my side  
I trust no one, from the world I hide  
Hidden desires, power in my hands  
Curled around my soul, like linked bands  
Fond wishes, trapped behind the screen  
Where they are displayed, only my eyes have seen  
A writer's joy, his masterpiece glows  
My heart is true, Lord alone knows  
Why I'm alone, why I can't stand  
Why I can't bear to give my hand  
To the lady in question, loved so dear  
Still, I can't face her, even when she's near  
Who can explain to me, who could know?  
Who could take my life and turned it into a show?  
Not I, for one, I've never won  
Can't bear losing what's already gone  
Misery clouds the vision, heart heals with time  
Just wish my only release wasn't through the rhyme.  
  
  
Good luck out there, Nate. Come home soon.  
  
Love always,  
Yugi. 


	13. Get In Where You MaybeKindaSorta Fit In

Note: I'll admit I've only been paying the Mists and rebooting and whatnot the vaguest of attentions, but I think I know what's going on. And even if I don't, this IS Subreality, and as Yugi is my Muse, I figure I can get away with it...  
  
  
Get In Where You (Maybe-Kinda-Sorta) Fit In  
By Nate  
  
  
"Is that them?" Yugi asked, peering warily over D's shoulder.  
  
D continued to stare into her binoculars. "Yup. Sure are a lot of the little boogers."  
  
"That's hardly any way to talk about the future shapers of Subreality," Nate protested mildly from his chair. He'd long since put his own binoculars away, figuring all the newbies would probably look the same from that distance. The Mists certainly weren't helping visibility...but then, they weren't supposed to. Their entire purpose, as far as Nate and his Muses were concerned, was to erase.  
  
Some were more worried about that than others, though.  
  
"I don't like it," Yugi said again, crossing her arms over her chest and looking generally miffed.   
  
"Yeah, well, you're not supposed to," D reminded her. "We're part of the 'Old Guard' and all."  
  
"I am NOT old," Yugi protested at once.  
  
"You're older than all of us combined...and quadrupled...and then some."  
  
"D, you know Yugi's sensitive about that," Nate chided.  
  
"Why ELSE do you think I tease her?" D asked with a smirk.  
  
Yugi pouted. "As if I weren't depressed enough."  
  
"Get over it, Yugi. The newbies are coming, and there's nothing you can do to stop them."  
  
"I could flay the flesh from their bones!"  
  
"Um...no," Nate said.  
  
"Why not?!" Yugi cried.  
  
"Because I was once a newbie, and it's hard enough without bloodthirsty Muses hunting you down."  
  
"That NEVER happened! You had ME, remember?!"  
  
"Oh, I know. And it's because I had you that I know EXACTLY what that would feel like. So no hurting the newbies."  
  
Yugi growled. "But...they'll wreck everything!"  
  
"You don't know that. Maybe they'll revive this place. It's been quiet lately."  
  
"And you would know that how?" D asked. "You haven't been here much lately, Nate."  
  
"Right. And if me, of all people, isn't hanging around, then new occupants are definitely needed. Hence the newbie flood."  
  
"They better stay away from the Sake Bar!" Yugi fumed.  
  
D lowered her binoculars. "The way I see it, we've got two options. We can sink or swim."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We can either do what the other oldies do and step aside, or we can try to show the new crowd that we're experienced enough to hang with them."  
  
"But we're not oldies," Yugi said quickly. "Right, Nate?"  
  
The Writer shrugged. "I dunno, Yugi. Sinking would be easier..."  
  
"NO! WE CAN'T!" Yugi shrieked, leaping onto his chest. "We can't be...can't be..."  
  
"Be what, Yugi?" Nate asked.  
  
She wrestled with the word for a long moment. "...old..."  
  
"You act like it's a bad thing," D said. "We had fun. We've even got reps around here. There's no point in having a nervous breakdown, Yugi."  
  
"But...I don't wanna be old!" Yugi sniffled, burying her head in Nate's chest.  
  
"Don't be a baby. Even Deemon stopped crying ages ago."  
  
"I guess we could try to swim," Nate murmured after a moment, stroking Yugi's hair. "It couldn't be THAT hard. We know the turf. Well, we did, anyway. And they'll need at least a few people who remember the way things used to be before the Mists came."  
  
"Y'mean like historians?" D asked.  
  
"Well, nothing THAT boring. Just...reference people."  
  
"You make that sound about as exciting as being a librarian."  
  
Nate grinned sheepishly. "Well, we COULD do...oh, everything we still do now on the side..."  
  
"NOW you're talking." D poked Yugi's back. "See, Yugs? We're still in business, babe!"  
  
"You promise?" Yugi asked in a tiny voice.  
  
"Yeah, sure," Nate sighed. "Not like you two ever gave me a break from writing, anyway."  
  
"Good. Cuz there's this fic you've been ignoring, and I-"  
  
"Weren't you supposed to be crying?"  
  
"Who, ME?" Yugi asked incredulously, lifting her head. "Perish the thought!"  
  
"Uh huh. Nice to have you back, Yugi."  
  
"Naturally. Now, about that fic..."  
  
"Later," Nate interrupted, pointing up. "Look."  
  
A falling star streaked majestically across the sky.  
  
"Wow," D breathed.  
  
The star continued its diagonal path, soaring into the night...  
  
...just before clipping a phone pole and slamming headlong into a newly -Written apartment building. The resulting explosion took out most of the block, and scorched everything in the surrounding area.  
  
Yugi smiled. "It's good to be back."  
  
"Shouldn't we do something?" D asked, looking up at her Writer.  
  
"Nah. Let the newbies take care of it. It'll be good practice. Anyway, DBZ's coming on."   
  
Wordlessly, the Muses began to follow Nate back inside.   
  
Yugi paused at the edge of the roof, noticing most of the smoke was already gone, and a few Writers were already gathering around the crash site, which didn't look so much like a crater anymore. "Maybe it won't be so bad after all..."  
  
And then she sighed as someone got bored and blew the whole thing up again. A muted cheer went up in the distance.  
  
Yugi pouted wistfully. "Somehow, it's only fun when I'm doing the property damage." With a shrug, she left the roof, considerably less worried about the fate of Subreality. She was confident that as long as some Writers (mostly male ones) still enjoyed fast cars, hot girls, and huge explosions, her world was safe. Bless the Scribe for teen Writers, but she was still glad that HER Writer wasn't like that.  
  
"You're crazy!" D shouted from downstairs. "Videl is NOT a sex symbol!"  
  
Suppressing something of a giggle, Yugi skipped down the stairs, confident in the knowledge that some things would never, ever change.  
  
-------------  
  
This was not meant to offend anyone, be they newbies (welcome!), experienced Writers (you KNOW what I'm like), Muses (who know that all Writers are essentially nuts), or simply readers (who should really become Writers and stop lurking! Help Wanted!...which, coincidentally, is the name of my next ficlet).   
And feel free to ignore the property damage, everyone! ^_^ 


	14. Help Wanted!

Note: It was recently pointed out to me that I'm practically sustaining the Dojo & Sake Bar by myself. That said, I think it needs a staff. My poor Sakura can't do everything, y'know. I didn't really make/bring this place into existence, but I can't seem to find out who did, and I'm far too lazy to ask more than once. Though I suppose I might back off if someone yells at me. Possibly. If they could get past Yugi. :)  
  
Summary: Sakura decides to bring in a temporary staff to help out at the Sake Bar. Emphasis on temporary...  
  
  
Help Wanted!  
  
  
"Pleeeeeeeease, Vegeta-sama?"  
  
Vegeta looked down at the girl kneeling before him, her emerald eyes shining with tears...and was totally unfazed. "No."  
  
"But you're the only one that could possibly do this!"  
  
"Don't make me repeat myself, child."  
  
The girl stood up, deciding on a different tactic. "You'd get to beat people up!"  
  
Vegeta appeared to be considering that. "What...people?"  
  
"Anyone who isn't an anime fictive or Writer."  
  
Vegeta blinked. It WAS tempting, but still...  
  
"It would make Yugi-san soooooo happy if you did!"  
  
Vegeta frowned. "I'd better be getting paid for this."  
  
"You'd get free food from the kitchen, and partial ownership of the Dojo."  
  
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Partial?"  
  
"Well...Cell owns the rest of it. He'd be your replacement when you called in sick."  
  
"I don't get sick," Vegeta snapped. "I get lethal."  
  
"Um...okay," Sakura said slowly. "But, if you didn't want to come to work one day, Cell would be there instead."  
  
"No. It's my job. MINE." He raised a hand, forming a tiny ball of energy in it. "Are we clear, child?"  
  
Sakura wisely backed away. "Hai, Vegeta-sama!"  
  
Vegeta smirked. "Good." With that, he slammed the door in her face.  
  
Sakura sighed in relief, then grinned and pulled out her cell phone. "Good news, Nate-sama! I got us a Bouncer!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Tomoyo poked her head into the kitchen. "Everything all right back here?"  
  
Instead of a worded reply, she got something of a meow. A strangely familiar meow.  
  
"Uh...hello?"  
  
Without warning, a large pot suddenly flew across the kitchen, landed on the counter, and slipped into a cabinet.  
  
Tomoyo blinked a few times, then returned to the bar, even paler than usual.   
  
"What's with you?" Cell asked, noticing the look on her face.  
  
"Either our kitchen is haunted," Tomoyo said slowly, "or we have roaches. BIG roaches."  
  
Cell thought for a moment. "Oh, that. Don't worry, it's not a pest problem. Well, not really. They're good pests. They're on the payroll."  
  
"Are you SURE?"  
  
"Positive. They're with the new cook...I guess."  
  
Tomoyo sighed. "I knew I was going to regret this. I didn't know it would give me nightmares..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"C'mon, Nate. It just wouldn't be right without someone from Sailor Moon."  
  
"I dunno. Makoto already works at the Writer's Café. Who could compete with her?"  
  
"We already HAVE a cook. Now we need more waitresses...and a janitor. Oh, and managers."  
  
Nate groaned. "I'm beginning to regret starting this project, Yugi."  
  
"Don't say that. We can make it work. Now, think of someone friendly from Sailor Moon while I go talk to Washu."  
  
Nate's eyes widened. "Washu? WHY?!"  
  
"Oh, nothing. Go on, now. Think. THINK. Nate, stop looking at me and THINK, dangit!"  
  
"Not until you tell me WHY you need to talk with Washu. You're not giving her a job, are you?"  
  
"Well...not in the Sake Bar..."  
  
"Yugi..."  
  
"Nate, you have to trust me."  
  
"Not when it comes to Washu, I don't. Tell me why."  
  
"Nope, not gonna. Bye, Nate!" Yugi disappeared instantly.  
  
Nate sighed. "That's it. The Sake Bar is doomed..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Sakura-chan, you know if it were anything else, I'd help you in a heartbeat. But like I've told you twice already, I HAVE a job and I'm not going to quit...or work another shift here, for that matter. So please stop asking me, because I feel horrible already."  
  
Sakura pouted. "I remember a time when you called yourself my best friend, Gamer. But I guess that spot goes to Tomoyo again..."  
  
Gamer sighed and lightly banged his head on the table. "You're not being fair, Sakura-chan!"  
  
"Well, you're not helping me like I thought you would."  
  
"I said I'd help you find some people, and I did. I got you an excellent cook and several of her...assistants."  
  
"I could've done that easily," Sakura pointed out. "So could Yugi-san or Trunks-kun."  
  
"But I did it," Gamer argued. "And I certainly didn't have to. Now, may I go, please? I'm going to be late for work."  
  
Sakura looked as if she might cry.  
  
"Oh, fine. I'll see if I can't talk Deemon into helping out."  
  
Sakura brightened instantly. "What about her clone?"  
  
Gamer frowned. "You're the one Eriol likes; YOU talk to him. Besides, I don't know if you want evil people near the food..."  
  
"At this point, I'd take Majin Buu, if he could balance a tray and looked good in a skirt."  
  
"Don't even joke about that, Sakura-chan."  
  
"Well, he IS pink. He'd match my outfit..."  
  
"Sakura."  
  
"Oh, fine! But you have to come back later and help with the food shipment."  
  
"I don't even work this hard at my real job," Gamer muttered as he faded away.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Explain to me," Nate said slowly, "why I have to wear this."  
  
Tomoyo blinked innocently. "It's Theme Night."  
  
"The theme being...?"  
  
"Pokémon."  
  
"So that's why I have to wear this Snorlax suit?"  
  
Tomoyo nodded, stifling a giggle.  
  
"What are YOU supposed to be?"  
  
"Er...I'm a trainer."  
  
Nate glared at her. "At least tell me someone else is going to dress up."  
  
"Sakura's going to be a Clefairy."  
  
"That's IT?!"  
  
Just then, the door opened.  
  
Tomoyo spun around. "Welcome to the Sake Bar!" she said brightly.  
  
"Relax, Tomoyo. Chibi Usa's here for the waitress job. Yugi called her."  
  
Chibi Usa glanced around the Sake Bar. "Aren't there any other waitresses?"  
  
Tomoyo nodded. "Sakura's in the kitchen with Sasami. I think they're coming up with a new menu."  
  
"Well, at least the food will be good." Chibi Usa looked at Nate. "Um...there's a Snorlax eating your head."  
  
Nate sighed. "I know. It must've gotten my brain first, because I can't recall why I signed up for this."  
  
Tomoyo shot him a look. "We need a few more people."  
  
"You might wanna talk to the girl outside then," Chibi Usa replied. "She was trying to get past Vegeta, but he won't let her in."  
  
"Why not?" Nate asked.  
  
"She's got a six foot lion man with her, and V-Man seems to think he's a pet."  
  
"Oh, that's Leomon and Juri," Nate said. "I called her about the waitress thing, too. Dunno why she brought him, though..."  
  
"Because she's Juri?" Tomoyo guessed.  
  
"Um...well, maybe he can work in the Dojo. Security and stuff."  
  
"Fine, I'll ask him," Tomyo said. "Meanwhile, did anybody think about getting a manager?"  
  
"Yeah, thought about it," Nate muttered.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"...so we're basically just gonna proclaim ourselves the managers behind Nate's back."  
  
Eriol considered that for a moment. "It sounds underhanded and devious."  
  
"Washu's helping out, too."  
  
"Intriguing, but I don't know, Cell..."  
  
"All of the waitresses are young, pure, uncorrupted females under eighteen."  
  
It was getting harder for Eriol to feign disinterest. "Well..."  
  
"Oh, heck. Tomoyo's one of them."  
  
"Why didn't you just say that first?" Eriol smiled eerily. "Of course we'll help."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"See? Toldya I was done with my part!" D said proudly.  
  
"Okay, explain this to me," Nate replied, glancing around the Dojo. He was still rather self-conscious about being seen in the Snorlax suit, especially in a place where violence was encouraged.  
  
"Well, Nagi's the manager. She'll oversee the daily operations and take care of finances."  
  
"No problem with that."  
  
"For the injured, I'm having Goku bring in some regeneration tanks, and I'm still checking on a Senzu bean garden."  
  
Nate smiled. "Good idea."   
  
"For those that can't fight but want to learn, I hired Spike Spiegel as an instructor."  
  
"That's fine. But you do realize that a lot of anime fighters aren't exactly human?"  
  
D grinned. "I thought you might say that. So I hired Ryo, Rika, and their Digimon as battle consultants."  
  
"Is that a fancy way of saying Renamon and Cyberdramon are getting paid to kill each other every day?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Nate shook his head. "What else?"  
  
"Aisha Clan-Clan graciously volunteered to be the Dojo Bouncer, but we're paying her in food, anyway. And speaking of cats, Leomon's been hanging around, and he's distracting her."  
  
Nate groaned. "If I find one kitten, I'm having them both neutered. Leomon's not going anywhere with Juri next door, so he can be another fight consultant or Assistant Bouncer."  
  
"Cool. How are things going on Yugi's end?"  
  
"I honestly don't know, so I should probably get over there..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"You are NOT the managers!" Tomoyo insisted.  
  
Eriol crossed his arms over his chest, looking amused. "Yes, Tomoyo-chan, we are."  
  
"Are NOT!"   
  
"Are too!" Cell shouted at once.  
  
"You're both sexist pigs!"  
  
"And that was a sexist remark," Eriol replied. "I should sue."  
  
"Anyway, we have girls," Cell added, looking offended.  
  
"Where?" Tomoyo asked, already afraid.  
  
"He means us," said a chilling voice behind her.  
  
Tomoyo leaped into Eriol's arms as Sabrina appeared out of nowhere, carrying her living doll.  
  
"See? Girls!" Cell pointed out.  
  
Tomoyo whimpered a bit. "But you can't DO this! Yugi said-"  
  
Eriol chuckled. "Yugi attempted to destroy a planet. We're taking over the Sake Bar. I hardly think she'll mind."  
  
"And it's not like we'll POISON anyone," Cell added. "Not on PURPOSE, anyway."  
  
"This isn't FAIR!" Tomoyo wailed.  
  
"But all is fair in love and war, Tomoyo-chan," Eriol reminded her.  
  
"This isn't war and it certainly isn't lo-"  
  
"Why, Tomoyo-chan! Are you admitting that you LUST for me?"  
  
Tomoyo glared at Eriol. "I never said that."  
  
"Sometimes, it's what you don't say-"  
  
"And what YOU imagine in your sick, twisted mind!"  
  
Eriol smiled. "Do you know what I'm imagining right now?"  
  
"Yes, and NO, there are no broom closets for you to leap out of and drag me into while I'm working."  
  
"I would NEVER do such a thing. I prefer the art of seduction."  
  
"Oh, just brain her and drag her off to a cave already," Cell suggested. "You're boring me."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"And you're sure she's as efficient as Sasami?" Yugi asked.  
  
Washu laughed. "She's three times the worker Sasami is, and she doesn't need to sleep, eat, or stop for breaks. On top of that, she'll work for free."  
  
"Can't say no to a deal like that." Yugi smiled at the still, silent figure beside her. "Okay, you're in!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nate had an ulterior motive for assembling the new waitresses: he wanted to be sure that he wasn't the only one dressed as a Pokémon.   
  
So far, as promised, Sakura had donned her Clefairy outfit, while Tomoyo had finally broken down and put on a very flattering Gengar suit. Juri had gone for Vulpix duds, and Chibi Usa was a Mew.  
  
"I can't emphasize enough that these are TEMPORARY jobs," Nate said. "The instant someone comes along with a better idea, you guys are out of here. So don't come crying to me if you're only here for a day, okay?"  
  
"What could be better than cute girls in cute costumes?" Juri asked.  
  
"I certainly don't know," Nate replied, "but leave it to another Writer to spoil my fun. Speaking of spoiling my fun, has anyone seen Yugi?"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"She's got three speeds, stainless steel hands, AND a work ethic like you wouldn't believe!"  
  
"Well, of course she does, Yugi," Eriol replied. "She looks exactly like Sasami."  
  
"She does not," Sasami complained. "Washu knows my nose isn't that big..."  
  
"ANYWAY, she's the perfect janitor!" Yugi said. "This way, Sasami can focus on cooking, and Mecha Sasami can clean."  
  
"We'd better test her first," Cell advised. "Turn her on and drop some food or something."  
  
Yugi turned a dial on Mecha Sasami's back, then tossed a stick of gum on the floor.  
  
There was a flash of blue and green, a strange SHRRRRK! noise, and then Cell said, "Hey, OW!!!"  
  
Mecha Sasami had cleaned up the gum...but she'd done it so fast that she'd actually taken off Cell's arm in the process.  
  
Cell quickly regenerated his arm before he could bleed all over the floor and risk losing more limbs. "Maybe you could slow her down a bit, Yugi?"  
  
Yugi looked thoughtful. "I wondered how fast 'Supersonic' really was. I guess 'Old Maid' is too slow, so 'Super Sasami' should be fine."  
  
Sasami pouted. "I still say it doesn't look like me. It wouldn't even fool a blind cabbit. Right, Ryo-Ohki?"  
  
Ryo-Ohki yowled in agreement from her seat in Sasami's hair.  
  
"Whatever. But don't you guys realize what this means?" Yugi asked excitedly. "We're open for business!"  
  
"...we never really closed," Eriol added.  
  
"You KNOW what I mean, Four Eyes!"  
  
Cell grinned. "Now all we need is a wet T-shirt contest!"  
  
Eriol wisely backed up as every female in the room ceremoniously blasted Cell. "I do believe you asked for that."  
  
Cell shrugged, picking off the scorched bits. "Hey, if that's what it takes to get C-Thru Vision in here, I'd do it a million times!"  
  
Yugi sighed. "Just ignore him. Now, everyone to your posts! Customers should be coming in soon!"  
  
"Nobody's coming," Eriol told her quietly.  
  
"Huh? Why?"  
  
"I invented an extra weekday so we'd have time to get everything done."  
  
Yugi frowned. "And that day is called?"  
  
Eriol adjusted his glass. "Clowday."  
  
"I am SO gonna hit you now."  
  
-------------  
  
Disclaimer: Too many animes to count, but none of 'em are mine. 


	15. Fight Night

Summary: Two demons start a fight in the Dojo, and it'll take both Bouncers to stop them. After they finish their drinks, anyway...  
PG-13 for all the usual reasons, and because at least one demon has a potty mouth.  
  
Fight Night  
By Nate  
  
  
"How long have they been going at it?" Spike asked.  
  
"Mmm. A while now," Nagi replied absently. "At least an hour."  
  
"And...you're not worried?"  
  
Nagi shrugged. "It's a dojo. I say let them fight."  
  
"Yeah, but...what if they don't stop?" Spike mused.  
  
Nagi shrugged again. "Then we sell tickets."  
  
Spike blinked. "That's not a bad idea."  
  
"Nope," Nagi agreed. "Hey, pass me a towel or something. They're getting blood all over the weights."  
  
There was a loud, sickening thud.  
  
Spike frowned. "No towel's going to get skull fragments off the dumbbells. And the brain bits leave a smell, trust me."  
  
"Easily handled. We auction them online. Think of how much people would pay for a dumbbell that brained HIM."  
  
"Do you ever NOT think about money?"  
  
"No." Nagi turned to her fellow bounty hunter with an incredulous look. "Do you?"  
  
Spike considered that. "Point taken."  
  
* * * * *  
  
"...and I'm telling YOU, Ctarl-Ctarl only NEED two forms!"  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Every decent fighter has at LEAST three, woman!"  
  
Aisha growled. "You're just jealous because your ultimate form is a sleep-deprived, hyperactive, spray painted monkey!"  
  
"And you're jealous because yours is a glorified Siberian tiger!"  
  
"What?! How DARE you! I am Aisha Clan-Clan, former Ambassador Pleni-"  
  
"And I am Vegeta, CURRENT Prince of All Saiya-jin and member of the Elite-"  
  
"How long have they been going at it this time?" Sasami asked quietly in the kitchen.  
  
"A while now, Sasami-chan," Juri replied, somewhat nervously.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about THEM." Sasami patted her shoulder reassuringly. "They're always like that when it's late and they're drunk. They're harmless."  
  
"They don't SEEM like it."  
  
"I know, but they're loud people naturally. It only gets worse with liquor in them."  
  
"TAKE THAT BACK!" Aisha shrieked.  
  
"NOT UNTIL YOU KNEEL!" Vegeta roared.  
  
Juri whimpered and covered her ears. "Can't you stop them...?"  
  
"Hmm? Oh, sure, just a sec." Sasami picked up a pot and wooden spoon, then vanished from the kitchen. "Look after Ryo-Ohki, okay?" she called.  
  
"Sure!" Juri turned to pick up to cabbit, only to find at least thirty of them on the counter. "Um...which one...?"  
  
Suddenly, a voice even louder than the first two rang out, accompanied by loud banging.  
  
"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! YOU'RE SCARING JURI-CHAN!!!"  
  
Sasami returned a moment later with a broken spoon and a dented pot. "They'll be good now."  
  
"...oh," Juri said at least. "Thanks..."  
  
Sasami grinned. "No problem!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
True to her word, Nagi began to sell tickets just before a promising crowd had shown up. As it was, she was making a fortune off drink and snack orders alone, but it never hurt to have a little extra money coming in. Or a lot, depending on how one viewed the arguably high price of admission.  
  
But no one that liked fighting was going to miss THIS fight.  
  
On the sidelines, the crowd had divided itself into two factions. Both were obviously pro-demon, as was fitting, but one side had a preference for demons created and enhanced by magic, while the others supported those of mixed heritage.  
  
Ryoko had planted herself firmly on the pro-mixed heritage side, and had been the first to show up. She was even directly responsible for the fight itself, and would gladly tell that to anyone, provided it didn't interfere with her cheering.  
  
Directly opposite her was Eriol, the other initiator of the fight, and also a willing participant in the bet that had spawned it.   
  
Between them was Yugi, equally liked by both, but cheering for neither side, mainly because she was more interested in how many things the fighters would break than the fight itself. As her eyes scanned the carnage, she noticed a familiar figure approaching her. "I was wondering when you'd show up."  
  
Chibi Trunks grunted and squeezed in between her and Ryoko. "The line to get in is a mile long. Who's winning?"  
  
"MY Inu-chan, of course!" Ryoko said.  
  
Trunks blinked, took a second, long look at the aforementioned fighter, and then whispered in confusion, "Inu-chan???"  
  
"Don't ask," Yugi suggested.  
  
"He doesn't stand a chance, anyway," Eriol added mysteriously.  
  
"YOU shut up!" Ryoko shouted. "When my Inu-chan wins, we're going to get free drinks whenever we come in!"  
  
"Inu-chan???" Trunks whispered again.  
  
Eriol smirked calmly. "And when his opponent beats him senseless, you're going to pay double for every drink you order."  
  
"I gotta say, I can't tell who's winning," Yugi muttered. "One's throwing all the punches, but he's not doing any noticeable damage. And the other...well...he's laughing! Like it's all a joke or something."  
  
"That's the way HE fights," Trunks muttered, looking vengeful.   
  
* * * * *  
  
"So...you're not going to do ANYTHING about the fight?" Sakura asked.  
  
"No," Vegeta replied calmly, tossing back another shot of Chief Warren Peace's Authentic Firewater. His eyes turned a smoldering red for a moment, then he shuddered and belched, a cloud of black smoke escaping his mouth.  
  
Sakura eyed the cloud with concern. "But...they might damage the Dojo! Aisha-san, don't you care?"  
  
Aisha waved a hand drunkenly. "Let 'em fight," she mumbled, her speech slurred. "And to the victor, go...go..." She looked to Vegeta for help.  
  
"Free drinks," Vegeta said, refilling his glass before handing the bottle to Aisha.  
  
"YEAH! Free drinksssh!" Aisha chugged the bottle for at least ten seconds, then threw back her head and belched molten-hot flames upward, scorching the ceiling.  
  
Sakura looked mournful. "But why won't you stop them? Those two demons are dangerous!"   
  
"Two?" Aisha asked, as if this were news to her.  
  
"Yes! You could each take one! Or take turns!" Sakura suggested eagerly.  
  
"Can't do it, cutie," Aisha replied sadly, frowning at her empty bottle before tossing it away.  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"One Demon Maximum," Aisha answered importantly.  
  
"Huh?" Sakura asked, clearly confused.  
  
"Ever heard of a three drink minimum?" Vegeta asked.  
  
"Well...not really..."  
  
"Too bad. This is a one demon maximum. We get paid to deal with any major demon...but only if there's one. Otherwise, we have to get paid overtime. Or bonuses."  
  
"YEAH!" Aisha agreed loudly, slinging an arm companionably about Vegeta's slumped shoulders. "Bonussshes!"  
  
"But...we can't AFFORD to give you either of those," Sakura moaned miserably.  
  
"Then you can't afford to have those TWO demons booted out," Vegeta said. "Anyway, the fat one's worth at least two and a HALF demons by himself. Now, you're a waitress. Make yourself useful and bring us more firewater."  
  
* * * * *  
  
The fight was still in the first round after six hours. Mainly because the two fighters hadn't stopped long enough for a second round to be declared.  
  
Inu Yasha growled under his breath as the portly, pink demon bounced back up. "CURSE YOU! STAY DOWN!!!"  
  
His opponent laughed merrily. "Buu no stay down! You stay down!"  
  
"GAAAAAH! BLADES OF BLOOD!!!"  
  
"Goooo Inu-chan!" Ryoko cheered, clapping loudly.  
  
"INU-CHAN???" Trunks asked for the hundredth time.  
  
"Give it up, Trunks," Yugi advised. "Some people are weird that way."  
  
"Okay. Explain the bet to me again."  
  
Yugi sighed. "Ryoko said that no demon could beat Inu Yasha in a fight. Eriol bet her he could find one demon that would beat him down."  
  
"He certainly picked the right one," Trunks muttered sullenly.  
  
"Hey! Are you implying that pink butterball can beat MY Inu-chan?!" Ryoko shouted.  
  
"If the shoe fits..." Eriol began.  
  
Ryoko glared at him, then raised her voice defiantly. "GET HIM, INU-CHAN!"  
  
Inu Yasha froze in mid-strike and spun around, clearly enraged. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME?!"  
  
Eriol smiled eerily. "Now, Buu."  
  
Inu Yasha's eyes widened, and he turned just in time to see Buu's gloved fist crashing into his jaw with the force of a runaway freight train. The blow spun him around a few times, then he crashed to the mat chin-first, unconscious before he landed.   
  
Ryo walked in from the sidelines and checked Inu Yasha before standing. "THE WINNAH!" he bellowed, raising Buu's hand, "AND NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE DOJO, THE KING OF DEMONS, THE ONE, THE ONLY...CLOW BUU!!!"  
  
"Yeah!" Buu cheered, going into victory dance mode. "Buu win! Buu win! Buu win! Woo HA!"  
  
"Did he just say...CLOW BUU?!" Trunks asked, glaring at Eriol.  
  
Eriol smiled. "I have," he said simply, "connections. Come, Buu."  
  
Buu obediently fell in behind Eriol as they headed for the door. "Buu eat cake now, Master?"  
  
"Yes, my friend," Eriol chuckled. "Buu eat all the cake he want."  
  
"I don't believe it," Trunks swore. "That little-he freed Buu!"  
  
"Well, he seems to have him under control," Yugi pointed out. "And if Eriol's good at one thing, it's manipulating others into his control."  
  
"I don't like it," Trunks muttered. But then he brightened. "At least I won ten hundred zini for betting on the RIGHT demon." He ran off with a smile.  
  
Yugi glanced at Ryoko, who was still frozen in shock. "I don't think anyone can beat Buu. At least, not without some Son blood in them."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Majin Buu was a terror. A childlike, sweet-eating, destructive terror.  
  
Clow Buu was much the same...only he placed more emphasis on the sweet-eating.  
  
"Goodness!" Juri gasped as Buu put away another pound of cake.  
  
"Another cake, Juri-chan," Eriol said. "Buu's ready for dessert now."  
  
Juri still looked startled. "But...we don't have anymore cake...he ate it all..."  
  
Eriol smiled. "Some other sweets, then?"  
  
"Um...muffins...pies...cocoa..."  
  
"Buu want all!" Buu said happily.  
  
Eriol nodded. "You heard the demon."  
  
Juri nodded blankly and turned to the kitchen, cupping her hands to her mouth. "Sasami-chan, they want more!"  
  
The kitchen doors burst open, and Sasami wheeled out a huge cart, loaded with various sweets. "This is the vanilla cart," she said. "We've got strawberry and chocolate lined up and ready to go."  
  
Buu eyed the cart and began stuffing his enormous face.  
  
Eriol checked what appeared to be a watch. "Hmm. He's only two-thirds full. You'd better start on a blueberry cart, Sasami-chan."  
  
Sasami nodded and patted Buu's arm, smiling up at him fondly. "Enjoying it, Buu?"  
  
Buu grinned through a mouthful of ice cream. "Buu like! Thanks, lady!"  
  
Sasami beamed and walked away, a dreamy look on her face.  
  
"What's with her?" Juri asked quietly.  
  
Eriol pushed up his glasses. "I can only assume Sasami would adore someone that ate so much of her cooking in one sitting."  
  
"Are you saying...she's in love with BUU?!" Juri cried.  
  
"Love is blind," Eriol replied. "Although, I must wonder whether it's now deaf, lame, and mute as well..."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Nagi checked the regeneration tank one last time. "He should be fine by tomorrow morning."  
  
"Good fighter," Spike murmured, giving the sleeping demon an appreciative nod. "Sloppy and unpredictable, but good."  
  
"Good for sales, too," Nagi noted. "We should do this every week."  
  
"We're still going to need repairs."  
  
Nagi glanced around. "Well...it IS a dojo, and people come here mainly to fight. Do you really think they'll be concerned if there's blood on a few things?"  
  
"...this is a way of cutting costs, isn't it?" Spike asked.  
  
"You want your Christmas bonus now or not?" Nagi asked, offering him a wad of cash.  
  
"And to all a good night," Spike said, stuffing the cash in his pocket. "A VERY good night."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Disclaimer: Most people are Temps, so they belong to either the Dojo or Sake Bar for the time being. Buu...belongs to Eriol now, apparently. And Yugi's mine, of course. 


End file.
